Happy New Year !

Thank goodness 2009 has left us, while you are making your resolutions for 2010 (make a resolution not to make a resolution) ponder on ten things that might happen in 2010.

• Tiger Woods dates Susan Boyle and brings to end the

40 year old virgin.

• Jeff Bridges finally wins a Oscar.

• Move your money (if you have any) to a community bank.

• Bob Dylan rescued from singing Christmas songs.

• Flying naked a real possibility!

• The Sarah Palin sex tape.

• Michael Jackson sightings with balloon boy.

• Charlie Sheen gets sent to Guantanamo.

• Oprah comes out of the closet.

• A Taliban porn site.

Sexting Handicap

Ah yes texting, that compulsive distraction that can tarnish halos, wreck marriages and soil brands. It has been widely reported over the Thanksgiving holiday that Mrs. Tiger Woods caught her hubby receiving a text from one of his many saucy sinners.

Oh what thanks on giving the rest of us lesser mortals the realization that you are imperfect.
Grim as it must be for Mrs. Tiger, those clever managers who have skillfully grown the first billionaire sports star must be thrashing around in their bunkers working on damage control.

As Tiger morphs into Cheetah what is hilarious is the righteous indignation from the ladies who claim to be the only ONE having a Tiger transgression. The list of sexters seems to grow by the day.

If by some strange reason sponsorship evaporates, the Cheetah will have to just rely on his future winnings which by current standards would make most sentient beings joyful for many lifetimes.

Who’s next Roger Federer ?

Harvest for the world

The war in Afghanistan is as much about drugs as it is about eradicating terrorism. The effort to get indigenous farmers to produce crops other than heroin seems futile. The demand for drugs across the planet and particularly in the US is insatiable.

Perverse as it might sound, controlling the drug flow and its subsequent profits would pay for the national debt and some. The Taliban and Al Qaeda derive their funds from the drug trade, why not spoil the party?

The worlds appetitte for drugs is relentless, they are here to stay, just like sex and the Yankee’s !
We glorify alcohol and tax it, why not go all the way and do the same with narcotics?

We already propagate drugs they just happen to have corporate names like Merck, Pfizer, Johnson & Johnson, Bayer and GlaxoSmithKline. End the nonsense now, legalize drugs and harvest a product which no better or worse than alcohol and tobacco.

Just imagine… a seductive Afghan female stretched across a gleaming Mustang, blowing smoke rings from her opium cigarette.

Unlikely? perhaps, but you never know…

It is quite fitting that we have just honored Veterans Day / Remembrance Day. In commonwealth countries such as the UK and Canada, people buy poppies to signify the battle field covered in red poppies, a metaphor not lost on the drug war which is costing lives in Afghanistan. It is blatantly clear the mission there has become unfocused and confused.

Some call for more troops, if that's case then send them to Pakistan to secure their nuclear infrastructure. The country is in peril. It would make better sense, an objective the American people could fully comprehend.

President Karzai is a puppet and throw back from the Bush years, his shelf life has expired. Historically the British and the Russians know something about this region and indeed Gorbachev has called for withdrawal of further engagement.

An exit from this 9th century BC country needs to be recognized and communicated. Not very many NATO countries are putting boots on the ground in harm’s way. Why should the Americans and British carry the majority of the burden and the blood ?

No pressure then...?

It would not be an exerageration to say that this year’s recipient of the Nobel Prize for Peace was a shock. And yet the winner, President Barack Obama was as surprised as anyone.
“I won WHAT!!!!!...not even Kanye West is going to protest!”

Even his White House staff hadn’t any inclination. This is what happens when you go to Scandinavia with your foxy wife and loose the bid for the Olympics, you end up with a Nobel Peace Prize.

In fact I wonder if there was a mixed up on who was on what committee?

Or perhaps Michelle arranged it, a small gift for their seventeenth wedding anniversary.

Whatever the reason it certainly caught everyone off guard.

Maybe the Norwegians know something of an impending attack on Iran and this is their way of deterring such a disaster in the making. Or this is a final condemnation on the Bush / Cheney legacy, who wouldn’t know how to spell the word peace, let alone its meaning.

It is baffling because President Obama is prosecuting two wars (Although not of his making) and hasn’t yet closed down Guantanamo bay, Hmm…Not much peace there.

The World’s love affair with Obama is certainly endearing, but he hasn’t accomplished much yet and while his potential is large there must be some unease among his supporters to the reality of the Messiah mentality. His detractors are going to have a field day with this, I wonder if the Nobel committee is comprised of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Riley and Glenn Beck; the ‘I wish you to fail brigade’.

It would appear that the message here is; Hope, A call to action and a more multilateral approach to solving problems. Thankfully in the President’s acceptance speech he gracefully articulated a balance between humility and a combined effort to search for peace.

No pressure then?

Sand Art with a Heart

Ukraine's "Got Talent" provided a welcome winner free of crass cheap thrills.

Please check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOhf3OvRXKg

Capitalism: A Love Story

Michael Moore is back and is declaring war on Capitalism. Last night I had the good fortune of attending one of the first screenings of his new film Capitalism: A Love Story.

Over the last twelve months countless articles and news stories have been devoted to the economic crisis which has affected everyone, well almost everyone. Some have been spot on in their portrayal of the complex events that unfolded. However there is nothing quite like film and Moore in particular to ram home a painful realization that things have to drastically change.
Moving images are truly moving.

We know the story but it is brought into focus by a potent lens.

Moore still relies on his hokey demeanor to drive the story of outrage and despair to maximum effect.
To see footage of people being evicted from their homes and work place as a result of corporate greed is distressing, a sobering reminder of the 1% taking control.

To see senior Politian’s on all sides of the aisle being bought off by corporate executives while pontificating in Congress that we must clean up Wall Street is particularly galling.

This film makes the case that there is plenty of blame on both sides of the political spectrum. But premise of the film vehemently states that capitalism is evil and does its best to illustrate this claim. While there is much wrong with capitalism and this film demonstrates forcefully the pitfalls, it doesn’t offer a suitable alternative. Would socialism would be the better option? Mr. Moore steadfastly avoids that notion.

In the Q & A afterwards he got testy with a questioner who asked, which was better Capitalism or Socialism? His reply was that democracy was in peril.
Interestingly Mr. Moore introduces religion into the conversation, something he has rarely done in previous films. Asking a priest and a Bishop the same question, Is Capitalism evil? He was met with a resounding yes.

Well that’s it then, all settled. God knows all.

Gimme that microphone !

Last night’s MTV Video Music Awards proved to be a calculated exercise in cynical cabalism. It had to do something to compete with a fiery Tennis US Open, a new NFL season and another bloody Vampire ending.

So Kanye West’s microphone grab from a teen country star was perfect to draw attention to a show that is now Broadway for the Hood.
For those who need some background? Kanye West a man of immense insecurities leaps on stage during Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech of Best Female Video to declare Beyonce’s video the one of the best ever made.
Camera pans to a bemused Beyonce .Teen Taylor looks crestfallen and the audience finally has something to get excited about, raise to their collect feet and begin to applaud.

A YouTube moment!

And would you believe it, later in the evening when Beyonce is accepting her win for Best Video of the Year she brings out costume changed Taylor for chance to say thank you.

Everybody wins; Taylor Swift, the meek victim from the country. Beyonce, the gracious gem, impervious to scandal. Kanye West, who maintains his bad boy image and considerable ego, Hennessy, which provided liquid courage, and MTV VMA for furnishing the world a whiff of attitude.

Oh by the way, Kanye West's new Country album set for release around Thanksgiving.

Down but not out...

So Sarah Palin capitulates and the comedians and cartoonists pick up their microphones, pencils and rejoice.
Tiny Fey is drafted back once again to SNL.Late night talk shows rebound, who cares about the recession? Laughter is back.

Yep its political suicide, ample fodder for detractors to ridicule.

But maybe we are missing something; her popularity among the conservative base, alarming as that may sound is growing. We have just been on the receiving end of eight years of disbelief.

Mark Twain once said “Never the underestimate the stupidity of the American people. Or put in a more contemporary way, Greens Days album “American Idiot” might be more suitable.

The GOP has a remarkable knack of getting clown like figures to head the country while the criminals run it. Recall history for proof ; Ronald Reagan, George Bush Sr and of course Dubya.
It is not inconceivable that Sarah Palin could occupy the White House despite her lack of geographical knowledge.

Shudder to think, she might get the last laugh…

Another One Bites the Dust

Michael Jackson is dead, give me back my mascara !!!

Much has been said about the king of Pop, a lot of it valid, some not so.

Time will tell if his unsavory off stage behavior will eclipse his shining light.

The focus here is the music and excitement he created for all of us to enjoy.

In the words of another great pop act ABBA “Thank You for the Music”

Crusin Susan

Summer is finally here peeps and the Tree house is brimming with activity. Doing his bit for the recession Lousy Latte has opted out of fancy hotels and has crashed landed at chez moi. There is ample room for scallywags and recovering mentalists, yes it’s true Lousy Latte has been joined at the foot of the bed by singing sensation Susan Boyle.

"Reports in the British press that SuBo, (as she’s known there), is rooming at the celeb rehab The Priory, due to a breakdown on hearing about British MP’s expenses are completely baseless" says Lousy Latte.
“The politicians have been eager to capitalize on this poor woman” Lousy Latte added “just look what the Conservatives are saying”
“All this ink about SuBo telling the Prime Minister Gordon Brown to F*$K Off is completely true” says David Cameron leader of the opposition “we have now a chance at taking back Scotland due to the help of songstress Susan”

While the British tabloids go berserk on whether to lead with the latest Amy Winehouse tattoo or Subo’s off color Tourette’s the real story lies in Central Park, New York.

Due to his skill in Haberdashery Lousy Latte has been gainfully employed to groom and launch Miss Boyle’s career in the biggest market possible…Detroit.

With the collapse of the motor industry it would only seem gracious for SuBo to cheer up the good unemployed folk of Motor City to endless renditions of Andrew Lloyd Weber. “If this won’t get the engines running again nothing will,” cities Lousy Latte.

As one who never misses an opportunity he said of Lousy latte “He has our complete support and backing “beamed Mayor Mike Bloomberg.

“We know his talents as a gifted hairdresser and marketing mench will reap rewards for Detroit’s tax base.”

” We are confident at the end of the day we will have an Authentic product.”

The Show must NOT go on !!!

Oh golly gum drops just when you thought there were an ease in the recession and American Idol was finished for another season, along comes The Eurovision Song contest.

How and why is this show still on?
Along with Guantanamo Bay shouldn’t this be classed as a human rights violation?

Being of European Extraction I grew up with this bizarre mess of a show and thus began my unapologetic snobbery towards my fellow Euros. It must be said without any hesitation of bias that the Brits have and still produce the best Rock and Pop music, and not since the days of Mozart and Chopin and somewhat recently U2 has our European neighbors have come anywhere near a decent song.

Perhaps it is written in the Constitution of the European Continent that anyone caught writing a song remotely good will be served the same fate as Napoleon, and carted off to St.Helena in the mid Atlantic ocean, sandwiched between the greats of contemporary music America and Great Britain.

However, in 1974 a Swedish band named ABBA won and proved to be the exception and like their cars rode on to enormous success.

It is the European Championship of Pop music minus the talent and all under the fever of jingoist pride. Each country votes on every other country but their own, and takes great relish in serving zero points to countries more embarrassing than their song.

This year the host country is Russia. Now last I heard Russia was not a European country, but then again nor is Israel. Now one would think that their respective reps would spare the non Euro’s the agony of such a spectacle, alas not the case, on this night everyone wants to be a crowned a European clown.

Last night’s show declared Norway the winner with a performance from a young fluffy haired fiddling Ashton Kutcher lookalike. While is it unnerving to watch someone sing and play the violin at the same time, the leftovers of humanity will be rewarded by his swift disappearance as the EU breaks up and becomes giddy with the prospect of autonomy.

Broadcasted from Ojai, which may sound like a place in Europe but isn’t, commiserations must go to Ireland’s song “Hickory Tits and Fiddlesticks” sung by Mac Giggles Mac Mullen which was voted…Ahem last.

Next year the host country will be Botswana…I wonder if anyone will notice it is in continental Africa ?

Swine Crime

Swine crime equals prime time. Vice President Joe Biden tells the Nation to stay still, don’t move, do not go on subways,buses,trains and airplanes and please please, do not kiss (when was the last time he rode the subway). Life is over peeps.

It’s a government conspiracy. The US is trying to deter the Mexican immigrant and kill off the drug cartels, but wait a minute. Mexico City is a city of 20 million, so far one hunderd dead, more died eating the tequila worm. Hey it's Cinco de Mayo… Ah such timing.

No really, contrary to what Pink Floyd might visualize, pigs can’t fly, besides there are trade restrictions. Leave the swine alone they laugh with George Orwell at this people folly. This is a human virus Influenza A carried by humans, its humans versus humans folks. It is Obama’s 101 day in office, hasn’t he got enough on his plate?

But that hasn’t quashed madness among the Egyptians; they are slaughtering every known pig. I thought Muslims refrained from pork; such confusion, such panic.

But Mayor Bloomberg reacts and attacks convention wisdom; he is going to ride the entire NYC subway system twice just to prove how crazy we are, but that the still leaves out Staten Island. Crumbs what will happen to Staten Island?

Up the in the Tree House one can see things with alarming clarity, the Nanny State continues to prosper.

Nothing To Lose

The first bloody test for the Obama administration came by way of Somali pirates seeking treasure from the West, or so it’s perceived. Despite the thuggish element that permeates our understanding of this unending saga, the problem is as big and complex as the Indian Ocean.

Since the early nineties when Somalia descended into hell on earth making Afghanistan in comparison a walk through a Chelsea garden show, it fell prey to tribal warlords, menacing Sharia law and a sabotaged fishing industry. Somalia can be clearly described as a lawless state with nothing but misery upon the horizon. Since the collapse the Asians and Europeans have been fishing illegally leaving Somali with no source of income and a coastline bordering on extinction.

Fisherman now become pirates out of sheer survival, nothing to with religion or imposed agenda. And if that wasn’t enough, not content with depleting the coastline the European feels it’s quite appropriate to dump their nuclear waste with complete immunity.

In 2005 when the Tsunami rolled on through, it washed up toxic waste that resulted in severe health problems for the Somalia population. While I don’t diminish the fear of been taken hostage and would very much like to have Navy Seal’s precision firepower on my side, the outcome sadly is inconclusive. There will be more hostages, perhaps with messy endings not as fortunate as this recent one and let’s face it, when you’ve got nothing, you’ve got nothing to lose.

So spare a thought when you tuck into that juicy Tuna Steak in some fabulous restaurant, did it leave you with a good taste in your mouth?

Good Sense Friday

It has been a few weeks now since the Pope visited North Africa and declared the use of condoms forbotten in the fight against AIDS. For once words failed me (some might be happy about that) in the monstrous lunacy from the Vatican and its CEO Benedict XVI.

The former South African President Thabo Mbeki also had a fanciful notion that AIDS was not caused by HIV. Have leaders of politics and faith completely taken leave of their senses?

Just when the sheer weight of denial crushed me, I came upon a video by a wonderful artist called Patrick Boivin. He articulated this act of insanity better than any words could offer, so sensible Christians and others please enjoy Revelations version 1.0 on Good Sense Friday…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh0ZB9OD_fg

The Japanese Way

Finally a politician with some balls to articulate the mood of the bailout fatigued taxpayer. Charles Grassley a Republican Senator from Iowa commenting on the latest AIG bonus revelation declared that the executives should employ the Japanese formula; bow, apologize then commit suicide.
Harsh language perhaps,but a growing thirst for action from the public shares these sentiments. Since then he has retracted the suicide part. The fact that the taxpayer owns eighty percent of AIG and is basically furnishing certain employees with payouts leaves one with the desire to take up arms, in this case a Samurai sword.

It is also unnerving to know that in the final Bush days; then Treasury Secretary hooligan Hank Paulson negotiated the bailout of AIG so that his old company Goldman Sachs could receive a $12.6 billion owed, while his old competitors Lehman Bros and Merrill Lynch perished or got swallowed. I have to say that I love the argument put forward by corporate leaders that “If we don’t pay compensation then you run the risk of losing your best people. Well if every bank is insolvent or receiving bailout money where the hell would these clever buggers find a job?

It must be said that Scum Airways since its inception has been awfully busy, after picking members of AIG, it plotted a course for the grandfather of the GOP, Dick Cheney the Josef Fritzl of Neo Cons. This putrid sack of vermin has the gall to deny any culpability for the economic woes now underway and further states that the nation is at more risk from an attack than ever before. Exercising as usual the fear mantra that worked so well under his watch, he brilliantly neglects the fact that in large part the financial deregulation under the Bush administration has put more fear into the hearts and minds of the American people than a bunch of orange jump suited radicals. Serve your country Dick, fall on your sword it’s the only way for America’s Most Wanted.

As the Empire State building comes into view, Scum Airways finds its way uptown at the charming residence of the Madoff’s. There inside Ruthless Ruth fusses over the silverware and ponders over how to spend Bernie’s money, completely delusional how one man alone can produce account statements for all the thousands of investors…Hmm perhaps a turn around and head for the SEC downtown and pick up the criminals who knew along what Madoff was up too, but the gravy tasted way too good to intervene.
Then let’s fly over the CNBC studios and tune in to that clown Jim Cramer who constant cheerleading for various companies left investor’s thinking they were on ‘The Price Is Right’

And while there’s gas in the tank, why not fly down to West Palm Beach and land on some ghastly golf course and pick up the GOP’s real leader Rush Limbaugh. Now this carbuncle on the face reason likes to make you think that he’s the voice of the Party, but in fact this cigar chomping, buffoon gangster couldn’t care less about anything other than ratings for his talk show. The real crime here is that millions tune in and believe him.

But it is ok folks we have enough Samurai swords on board.

Nothing New on the Horizon

It has been bleeding ages since I’ve seen a live David Letterman show, let alone five in a row.
Last week it became the launch pad of U2 returning to claim its throne as rock’s greatest band.
In a climate of Teen pop, Rap and Hip hop the relevance of a rock band is a challenge U2 loves to embrace.

Being earnest and highly ambitious at the same time, they strive to make music that endures and flies of the shelf (or downloads) at a brisk pace.
The fact U2 sought it wise to play every night on the Letterman show illustrates their days of heavy radio play are diminishing. Prone to commerce stunts such as the Letterman show and Apple’s release of the IPod for their last album, reflects a marketing campaign hell bent on maximum exposure and maximum profits. The days of albums resting on the top of the charts for months on end finished long ago.

One bright spot in the Rock genre would be Coldplay, who’s last album ‘Viva la Vida’ sold over six million copies worldwide. Ironic perhaps, considering they've made a career of lifting practically every note from U2.
So with that in mind, what does U2 have to worry about? (Assuming they worry)

They will fill stadiums across the planet, and over a two year touring cycle even with recession priced tickets will satisfy Live Nation’s investment leaving them to restart the Celtic Tiger.
Well that’s the money side.

With all that bollocks said, Is the music any good?
Ahem…great in parts, but not an epic. They have made an U2 record that will please loyal fans,but falls short of recruiting new fans. It feels and sounds as if they have relied on old influences such as The Beatles, Bowie, Talk Talk, Led Zeppelin, Sting and The Who fused with the trademark U2 sound.
While these are wonderful artists to emulate there is no daring or surprise. The album sounds safe among its surroundings. Brilliant producers as Brian Eno and Daniel Lanios are, it is time for them to disappear. Where are the women producers in this business? It is time ladies.
I can hear Alison Goldfrapp, Kate Bush, Tori Amos and Feist making sizable contributions. If Bono and the boys want to be The Irish Beatles, hire one of them, or all of them. There’s your moment of surrender.

Standout songs: Cedars of Lebanon, Moment of Surrender and Unknown Caller.
Ones to delete: White as Snow and Fez.

Out of five tree houses, I give them three and a half.

Scum Airways

Yet another example of greed and shame has arisen to cheer up taxpayers of the world. The Royal Bank of Scotland, Britain’s largest Bank has gone tits up, causing its CEO Sir Fred Goodwin into premature retirement and a pension of sixteen million pounds, Goodwin indeed.

While the British government pumps some twenty billion into another calamitous failure, Sir Freddy walks away ferociously unapologetic .This latest act of financial rape puts Prime Minister Gordon Brown in an uncomfortable position to how he can crush the raising anger from the British taxpayer. Mr. Brown has voiced his concern, that it is unacceptable, unjustifiable and so on, but still calls him Sir Freddy.
With that kind of affectionate talk it is hard to believe that anything approaching redemption is possible.

This leaves me with no alternative but to devise a Scum Directory and those who qualify will be picked up by Scum Airways. Now Scum Airways has just secured an order of the 380 Airbus and at this time, ten brand new bailout sized beauties are starting their engines.

The magnificent ‘Sully’ Sullenbeger will head the team of spirited pilots whose mission is to pick up every charlatan, fraudster and coward connected with taxpayer’s grief and fly them to the Afghan /Pakistani border whereupon they will be booted out to the welcoming arms of the Taliban, a place incidentally, where American Express is not accepted.

If there are any survivors they will be rounded up by the CIA and flown to Crawford, Texas, whereby an unemployed George Bush will take great pleasure in the fine art of water boarding.

Just some of our passengers so far:
Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld: Creators of the biggest military Ponzi scheme.
Bernie Madoff: Madoff Securities.
Allen Sansford: Sanford Financial.
Kenneth Lewis: Bank of America.
John Thain: Merrill Lynch.
Sir Fred Goodwin: Royal Bank of Scotland.
Donald Fuld: Lehman Bros.
Chuck Prince, Vikram Panit: Citigroup.
Hank Greenberg: AIG.
Jimmy Cayne : Bear Stearns.
John Mack: Morgan Stanley.
Angelo Mozilo: Countrywide.
Securities Exchange Commission: Blind, Deaf and Dumb
Rick Wagoner: GM.
Robert Nardelli : Chrysler.
Allan Mulally: Ford Motor Company.
Lloyd Blankfein, Robert Rubin, Hank Paulson: Goldman Sachs.
Rush Limbaugh:Moral coward

Scum Airways coming to a landing strip near you.

Come back...whether deserved or not

By now the bizarre behavior of mountain man Joaquin Phoenix on the David Letterman show has made headway with top ten downloads. While strange and sometimes repugnant behavior isn’t new among celebrities who crave constant stroking, this recent burst of tomfoolery has twits who twitter twittering.

Who cares? One might scream, quite right would be the answer. Our perverse need for celebrity as a measuring stick for all things vicarious endures without solution. For some, when celebrity falls off the tracks it’s ever so tempting to stare at the wreckage.

The fact that a talented actor has declared his retirement from acting and has started a new career as a Rap Artist in a climate of downloading and shrinking revenue streams is fanciful and comical. Is it a joke? Is it real? Is it drugs clouding judgment?

The fact that Letterman was not clued into the joke or the drugs made the interview more compelling.

We are in the throes of “Come Back” time. We had Brittany shaving her head, dropping/losing her kids, bashed out on tequila and lack luster dance steps. Now the wholesome beaming smile has returned to a toned body that is ready to conquer the world.

The highly talented Robert Downey Jr. Exits from jail after deep heroin abuse to lead roles that earn him Oscar’s nominations.

Even the wonderful voice of Whitney Houston has sold her crack pipe and is making Clive Davies smile again, and lastly the craggy bad ass, Mickey Rourke after of years in the wilderness is the real favorite to win best actor in a leading role at the Academy Awards.

America loves a comeback, whether deserved or not.

The envelop please.

Will this determine if mountain man Phoenix is a comeback or an actor’s final Rap?

8 Hits in 60 seconds

A funny thing happened to me this morning at breakfast; I was opening my Kellogg’s Corn Flakes and out popped a bong pipe. In days gone by it used to be some mysterious plastic figurine that would hold your attention, for what seemed hours while you munched away staring at the cereal box. This was brilliant marketing on the part of Kellogg’s. In Ireland during the 80’s a Green Card would fall out causing a systemic exodus to the land of Uncle Kellogg.

In recent days we have witnessed rampant lunacy among the righteous who claim swimming superstar Michael Phelps smoking cannabis is leading all children to the gates of hell.
Kellogg’s in their infinite wisdom dropped sponsorship for the 14 times Olympic gold medalist.

‘He was a role model for the young and impressionable’ cried the serial cerealists.

A role model!! Perhaps the only role model should be ones parents, and that’s a stretch in most cases.

We can’t even get our Senators to pay taxes, our Judges to pay for nannies and Governors to stop working the prostitution ring. Talk about reaching for the impossible.
The level of hypocrisy makes me want to take up Water polo. Was there any outcry about the beers he was slamming down or the number of shots thrown back?

Apparently not, because that is acceptable and glorified, most advertising would crumble without having booze to promote; not mention how it’s promoted. Alcohol is just as disruptive as drugs and yet some people are still blind to this fact.

Michael Phelps is 23 and for the most of those 23 years he has sacrificed a great deal to reach his goals and dreams. To penalize him on behavior that most young adults do on regular basis is ridiculously unfair.

And let’s face it, what is frostie flake Tony the Tiger smoking when he beams ‘They’re Grrreat!!

Salary Cap

President Obama has imposed a $ 500,000 cap on executive pay for companies who receive federal bailout money. In addition the elimination of golden parachutes for the top five to ten executives would be implemented and Shareholders would have more say on executive compensation.

Indeed this is a noble effort. In part to counter the groundswell of outrage from Main Street and to get the stimulus bill passed through the Senate.

Sadly this will not apply to the companies that already have or are in the process of receiving TARP money. So the CEO’s of AIG, Citigroup, and Bank of America and so on will be allowed to languish with their millions off shore somewhere.

However strident these plans are they won’t combat the pervasive nature of Wall Street which is Greed.

“Who is going to work for a messily half million bucks a year with no bonus?” is the primal scream from the Board room. When you have been used to getting tens of millions it must feel like chicken feed.

The idea that CEO’s are paid astromincal amounts for failure is an argument worth propagating. So far there haven’t been any protests in the streets to demand serious penalties and jail time. If a million people can come out to an inauguration why the same number can’t come out and voice vitriolic disgust.

E mailing dissent won’t just do, me included here. Pushing executives out of their Gulf Stream jets without a parachute is a wonderful act of symbolism to end the tradition.

But if it’s greedy Brook Brothers clad types with hands in the till then it’s also lawmakers who don’t want to pay taxes. Business as usual? Not a healthy way start to a new administration.

At least some withdrew before hypocrisy was allowed to stain the new carpets in the Oval office.
If the banks are now nationalized, then the top job should be paid as much as the President which is $400,000.

What are you complaining about…you just got an extra $ 100,000… did you earn it?

Stimulation Anyone ?

Stimulation is on our minds everybody. Stimulate new jobs, stimulate the economy, and stimulate the need not to surrender to whimsical cravings. Stimulate, stimulate, stimulate is the mantra. So much stimulation I need to lie down and digest $800 Billion bucks.

That’s a loada money peeps. And the printing presses are going to need plenty of stimulation to print that lot. Now printing money has its draw backs, inflation comes to mind, but no one cares a hoot about that at the moment.

No something Eco unfriendly and mankind’s biggest investment is at stake. What happens when we run out of paper and ink? (Coins won’t matter because inflation will eventually take care of that)

My concern is that there will be no more trees left to print paper, build houses and oxygen to breathe. Maybe that’s the idea, a slow decline of civilization by an avalanche of paper.

Meanwhile as a person who lives in a Tree house this brings a whole new meaning to the word foreclosure.

There is much stimulus chatter about part time work, the idea being; better to have a job with less money than have no job at all. In Europe they call this the three day week. Everybody gazed their eyes across the pond to France who have been on a three day week since Bastille Day. It is European law to have four weeks paid vacant/holiday, but now that America is a Socialist State perhaps we now can qualify?!

And lastly, a stimulus idea from the great dispenser of brilliant thinking, Rush Limbaugh; I would cut taxes and watch the stock market go crazy. Crazy being the operative word here.
As a Congressman from Florida, Alan Grayson rightly pointed out, Limbaugh actually was more lucid when he was a drug addict. If America ever did 1% of what he wanted us to do, then we'd all need pain killers."
This also could be said for listening to The Grateful Dead. No amount of stimulus could bring us unified joy.

Day One

WHAT WAS THE FIRST THING YOU DID IN THE OBAMA ERA ?

Thought Edward Kennedy was hogging the limelight
Had a cocktail
Had lunch
Had sex
Had sex again
Kiss
Paid bills
Told someone you loved them
Got a passport
Went on a diet
Fluffed your lines
Found a job
Lost a job
Joined the military
Started yoga
Wrote a song
Cut up a credit card
Gave birth
Listened to Beyonce again…
Got a bailout… another one
taxes

Finally...

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU

"George Lucas 1977"

Royal Ass

We might share the same name and country but thank goodness nothing else. Following on blindly in his grandfathers footsteps, Prince Harry has yet again made a Royal Ass of himself.

Previous endeavors of bad taste have not held much sway with Officer Harry. It was a couple of years ago Harry turned up at a party in a Nazi uniform, only to have his pugnacious face splashed on every front page ink will allow.

Now, revealed as the nearest thing to a Royal sex tape, is video footage of officer Harry unleashing disparaging remarks about his own men. This recent incident exposes Harry using a racial slur towards a fellow Pakistani officer and making unflattering references to Arab headwear.

While it would be naive of me to think this behavior doesn’t exist. The example set by possibly (If William dies or becomes a Scientologist) a future King and commander of the British armed forces doesn’t look to promising.

Indeed the British taxpayer, who pays for these privileged souls to have the best education possible might think twice about the benefits Royalty has to offer them. Given the current economic collapse their actual worth must be considered a financial liability.

If you remember last summer, Officer Harry was keen to display his call to duty by demanding he fought on the front line in Afghanistan. Commendable perhaps, but a good PR stunt all the same. While on the front line he was protected by a brigade of Gurkhas who are warrior like and are fiercely loyal.

The Gurkhas hail from Nepal and last time I looked they have similar skin tone to Pakistanis. They might feel underappreciated considering they were risking their lives for him.

Historically, the Royal Family doesn’t have a good track record when it comes to bigotry and gaffes. Namely Prince Phillip who down the years has made racial slurs against the Chinese and the Queen Mother was a notorious bigot.

In today’s multicultural Britain (if its subjects want a Monarch) it needs to have a worthy modern Monarchy that accepts the variety and diverse cultures that now make up Great Britain. Officer Harry’s remarks leave a nasty stain that exhibit the changing of the old guard has some way to go.

It's a Madoff Madoff World

Breaking news... disgraced swindler Bernard Madoff has put his jewelry to good use, and bribed a TSA (Transport Security Administration) Hip Hop wannabe to let him board a plane bound for Egypt. It is there, reportedly he was smuggled through the only remaining tunnel into the Gaza Strip.

Images released today reveal a buoyant Madoff, wearing a fetching pair of olive green fatigues and supporting his trademark smirk.

He was later seen on top of a Nissan Truck brandishing a RPG (rocket propelled grenade) aimed at Tel Aviv. In a speech carried live over Fox news, he declared he could provide annual returns to the Palestine people of Falafel and Baba Ghanoush and he would not take a fee.

He went on to say that he had plans to develop Gaza into a new Palm Springs, and that Kevin Bacon would become its Mayor.

As word spread throughout the Strip, the sounds of tank fire and gunships melted away. The IDF (Israeli Defense Force) and reservists had put down their weapons in protest due to fact that their student loans and stipend for Hashish had evaporated under the leadership of Madoff Securities International.

Back in New York, Joan Rivers was gracious enough to cancel her twentieth face lift to report from the Anti - Defamation league headquarters, where its leader Abraham Foxman had this to say.

“Not content with fleecing his own people, he now present himself savior of Palestine, it’s enough to wake Ariel Sharon from his coma… “