Breaking news... disgraced swindler Bernard Madoff has put his jewelry to good use, and bribed a TSA (Transport Security Administration) Hip Hop wannabe to let him board a plane bound for Egypt. It is there, reportedly he was smuggled through the only remaining tunnel into the Gaza Strip.
Images released today reveal a buoyant Madoff, wearing a fetching pair of olive green fatigues and supporting his trademark smirk.
He was later seen on top of a Nissan Truck brandishing a RPG (rocket propelled grenade) aimed at Tel Aviv. In a speech carried live over Fox news, he declared he could provide annual returns to the Palestine people of Falafel and Baba Ghanoush and he would not take a fee.
He went on to say that he had plans to develop Gaza into a new Palm Springs, and that Kevin Bacon would become its Mayor.
As word spread throughout the Strip, the sounds of tank fire and gunships melted away. The IDF (Israeli Defense Force) and reservists had put down their weapons in protest due to fact that their student loans and stipend for Hashish had evaporated under the leadership of Madoff Securities International.
Back in New York, Joan Rivers was gracious enough to cancel her twentieth face lift to report from the Anti - Defamation league headquarters, where its leader Abraham Foxman had this to say.
“Not content with fleecing his own people, he now present himself savior of Palestine, it’s enough to wake Ariel Sharon from his coma… “
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