The Show must NOT go on !!!

Oh golly gum drops just when you thought there were an ease in the recession and American Idol was finished for another season, along comes The Eurovision Song contest.

How and why is this show still on?
Along with Guantanamo Bay shouldn’t this be classed as a human rights violation?

Being of European Extraction I grew up with this bizarre mess of a show and thus began my unapologetic snobbery towards my fellow Euros. It must be said without any hesitation of bias that the Brits have and still produce the best Rock and Pop music, and not since the days of Mozart and Chopin and somewhat recently U2 has our European neighbors have come anywhere near a decent song.

Perhaps it is written in the Constitution of the European Continent that anyone caught writing a song remotely good will be served the same fate as Napoleon, and carted off to St.Helena in the mid Atlantic ocean, sandwiched between the greats of contemporary music America and Great Britain.

However, in 1974 a Swedish band named ABBA won and proved to be the exception and like their cars rode on to enormous success.

It is the European Championship of Pop music minus the talent and all under the fever of jingoist pride. Each country votes on every other country but their own, and takes great relish in serving zero points to countries more embarrassing than their song.

This year the host country is Russia. Now last I heard Russia was not a European country, but then again nor is Israel. Now one would think that their respective reps would spare the non Euro’s the agony of such a spectacle, alas not the case, on this night everyone wants to be a crowned a European clown.

Last night’s show declared Norway the winner with a performance from a young fluffy haired fiddling Ashton Kutcher lookalike. While is it unnerving to watch someone sing and play the violin at the same time, the leftovers of humanity will be rewarded by his swift disappearance as the EU breaks up and becomes giddy with the prospect of autonomy.

Broadcasted from Ojai, which may sound like a place in Europe but isn’t, commiserations must go to Ireland’s song “Hickory Tits and Fiddlesticks” sung by Mac Giggles Mac Mullen which was voted…Ahem last.

Next year the host country will be Botswana…I wonder if anyone will notice it is in continental Africa ?