Uncertain Certitude

I was sitting at my computer last week attending to matters tres important (You Tube - how to cook Ramen) when up popped junk mail, however not the sought we would normally associate with.

A bulging pair of grey briefs populated the screen with no mention to its owner; I called Twitter for an explanation, they said the Chinese had hacked into Congressman Weiner’s account and was responsible for the intrusion.

Like a good citizen I believed everything they said and moved on to You Tube part two “How to get on the spot gratification from a TSA employee”.

Some moments later I received another image, this time it contained a bare chest again no certitude if the torso had a recognizable head to go with it. They were clues however to a potential owner. In the background grouped a selection of photographs with famous Politians and dignitaries, some were of Bill Clinton the former serial denier of sexual escapades. This gave me insight to the mentoring qualities of the Clinton agenda; deny, deny, deny.

Again I called up Twitter for a further prove that another injustice had befallen Congressmen Weiner, to my relief they replied the Chinese had hacked into Congressman Weiner's account and was responsible for the intrusion.

Like a good citizen I believed everything they said and moved on to You tube part three “How to get ahead in life using Twitter”.

Would you believe it some minutes later Congressman Weiner appeared before me on a sofa with two pussies? Now I am all for pussies let it be said, I have two of my own thank you very much. Could this be the moment of truth sitting before me the perpetrator of such lewd behavior? Yes you guessed it I called Twitter and back came the answer; the Chinese had hacked into Congressman Weiner’s account and was responsible for the intrusion.

Like a good citizen I believed everything they said and moved on to You tube part four “How to spot a lie in five easy ways”.

Not again! Before I could look up the word “denial” in the oxford dictionary there was Congressman Weiner staring right at me with head, torso and a piece of paper with the words “ME” written on them, the phone rang, it was Twitter they said the Chinese had hacked into Congressman Weiner’s account and was responsible for the intrusion.

Like a good citizen I believed everything they said and got on with my day without resign.