Two Blokes in a Pub

It’s Saturday afternoon and Rodney and Clive are down the pub, they sit opposite each other with a couple of pints in front of them. They both stare head down into their Blackberry’s with Zen like concentration. There was a time when the pub was full of banter and below par singing. Now one hears the rapid fire of thumbs in motion and the merciless sound of crash bang wallop from the fruit machine.

Communication today is through texting and the long lost art of conversation is something only to be witnessed in the British Museum along side paleontology. But if a dialogue were to brake out, it might go like this.

Clive: Ere’ Rodney fancy rioting, causing some trouble?

Rodney: Yeah, that sounds good, where did you have in mind?

Clive: In our neighborhood, you know a couple pairs of Reebok’s, Game boy and a flat screen TV.

Rodney: Brilliant Clive, then we can watch ourselves on the Evening news burning down our community, something to tell our kids.

Clive: Nah… Rodney we’ll take our kids along for the ride, show em’ the future let them get their hands dirty.

Rodney: It will be great advertising for the Olympics.

Clive: Right on Squire never did like that logo.

Rodney: Excellent, but did you hear about Burka reform in France?

Clive: What?

Rodney: It’s gonna come here only it’s called Hoody Reform, so this might be the last time we get to wear them.

Clive: Good thinking Rodney, and thank America for American Apparel.

Rodney: I was thinking, we could set fire to an electric car.

Clive: Nah Rodney that wouldn’t work, there’s no petrol, no big flames, no fire and brimstone.

Rodney: Bollocks, those environmentalists really take the fun out of anarchist discourse.

Clive: No worries mate, the Royal Wedding is over there’s no more money to spend on crowd control it will be a cinch.

Rodney: Yeah nice one, the Treasury is all tapped out.

Clive: Did you hear America has been downgraded from AAA to AA?

Rodney: More reason to riot, we’ll hit the pawn stores before the electronic store.

Clive: Good sense Guv’nor, the price of gold has hit an all time high.

Rodney: Wait a minute my phone has just been hacked by Murdoch, there’s a message alert ‘Attention all rioters News Corp wants quality footage don’t worry about the politians I still have them in my pocket’

Courtesy of News Corp Surveillance.