Let’s just say for a moment things were different. Hillary had won the primary then the general election.
In the traditional “lets go back to my place” The Bush tenants give the new occupants Hillary and First Man Bill a tour of the White House. Just imagine the scenario. George and Hillary discussing bailout and rodeos in the mahogany paneled Oval room while Laura waxes giddily about pistachio colored drapes.
This imagined state of the worlds most recognized real estate might go like this.
(In Bill Clinton drawl) You know Laura I used to live here once.
(In Laura fixed glazed look) Oh really, I didn’t realize there were other dictators before George.
(In Bill Clinton drawl) Well in my day we were called Presidents. It was a time of relative peace; we only had Israel and Palestine and the OJ Simpson trail to deal with (life’s constants). There were no wars in Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan and a concentration camp in the Caribbean. We didn’t have a name calling stand off with North Korea and Iran. There was a surplus in the government, a balanced budget and FEMA wasn’t equated with failure. Even Madonna was making good music.
(In Laura fixed glazed look) Well Bill you know George and I are very proud of what we have accomplished in the last eight years here in this apartment.
(In Bill Clinton drawl) Apartment! Oh you Texans love to talk big. And talking of big “The Lincoln Bedroom”, ah yes that’s where Tom Hanks slept. If I remember correctly I needed money so I let Steven Spielberg, Harrison Ford and John Travolta hangout. It was my version of a Hollywood slumber party. We would talk all night about women and movies...well Travolta didn’t ,he’s a bit you know, light on his feet..Oh Yankee doddle mighty fine times.
(In Laura fixed glazed look) Oh well Dick used to use the Lincoln Bedroom for target practice. I could never quiet figure out who the men were in orange suits.
(In Bill Clinton drawl) Awe shucks I almost forgot about the secret recording studio. Barbara Streisand and me would play Chuck Berry’s “My ding a ling” she would toot my horn and I would smoke her cigar. Yep good old Barbara, I miss her dearly.
(In Laura fixed glazed look)You don’t say? Well you know the White house is a fine place to raise children.
(In Bill Clinton drawl) Raise children? I was more like thinking Makin babies. Monica and I used to rehearsal in the Oval office but then Ken Starr had to stick his nose in and waste taxpayers money. Talk about government pork!! By the way Laura you look ravishing today.
(In Laura fixed glazed look) Hmm... Interesting I think we’d better go back to see what George is up to…
This imagined state of the worlds most recognized real estate might go like this.
(In Bill Clinton drawl) You know Laura I used to live here once.
(In Laura fixed glazed look) Oh really, I didn’t realize there were other dictators before George.
(In Bill Clinton drawl) Well in my day we were called Presidents. It was a time of relative peace; we only had Israel and Palestine and the OJ Simpson trail to deal with (life’s constants). There were no wars in Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan and a concentration camp in the Caribbean. We didn’t have a name calling stand off with North Korea and Iran. There was a surplus in the government, a balanced budget and FEMA wasn’t equated with failure. Even Madonna was making good music.
(In Laura fixed glazed look) Well Bill you know George and I are very proud of what we have accomplished in the last eight years here in this apartment.
(In Bill Clinton drawl) Apartment! Oh you Texans love to talk big. And talking of big “The Lincoln Bedroom”, ah yes that’s where Tom Hanks slept. If I remember correctly I needed money so I let Steven Spielberg, Harrison Ford and John Travolta hangout. It was my version of a Hollywood slumber party. We would talk all night about women and movies...well Travolta didn’t ,he’s a bit you know, light on his feet..Oh Yankee doddle mighty fine times.
(In Laura fixed glazed look) Oh well Dick used to use the Lincoln Bedroom for target practice. I could never quiet figure out who the men were in orange suits.
(In Bill Clinton drawl) Awe shucks I almost forgot about the secret recording studio. Barbara Streisand and me would play Chuck Berry’s “My ding a ling” she would toot my horn and I would smoke her cigar. Yep good old Barbara, I miss her dearly.
(In Laura fixed glazed look)You don’t say? Well you know the White house is a fine place to raise children.
(In Bill Clinton drawl) Raise children? I was more like thinking Makin babies. Monica and I used to rehearsal in the Oval office but then Ken Starr had to stick his nose in and waste taxpayers money. Talk about government pork!! By the way Laura you look ravishing today.
(In Laura fixed glazed look) Hmm... Interesting I think we’d better go back to see what George is up to…
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