First Man Or First Lady

Let’s just say for a moment things were different. Hillary had won the primary then the general election.

In the traditional “lets go back to my place” The Bush tenants give the new occupants Hillary and First Man Bill a tour of the White House. Just imagine the scenario. George and Hillary discussing bailout and rodeos in the mahogany paneled Oval room while Laura waxes giddily about pistachio colored drapes.

This imagined state of the worlds most recognized real estate might go like this.

(In Bill Clinton drawl) You know Laura I used to live here once.

(In Laura fixed glazed look) Oh really, I didn’t realize there were other dictators before George.

(In Bill Clinton drawl) Well in my day we were called Presidents. It was a time of relative peace; we only had Israel and Palestine and the OJ Simpson trail to deal with (life’s constants). There were no wars in Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan and a concentration camp in the Caribbean. We didn’t have a name calling stand off with North Korea and Iran. There was a surplus in the government, a balanced budget and FEMA wasn’t equated with failure. Even Madonna was making good music.

(In Laura fixed glazed look) Well Bill you know George and I are very proud of what we have accomplished in the last eight years here in this apartment.

(In Bill Clinton drawl) Apartment! Oh you Texans love to talk big. And talking of big “The Lincoln Bedroom”, ah yes that’s where Tom Hanks slept. If I remember correctly I needed money so I let Steven Spielberg, Harrison Ford and John Travolta hangout. It was my version of a Hollywood slumber party. We would talk all night about women and movies...well Travolta didn’t ,he’s a bit you know, light on his feet..Oh Yankee doddle mighty fine times.

(In Laura fixed glazed look) Oh well Dick used to use the Lincoln Bedroom for target practice. I could never quiet figure out who the men were in orange suits.

(In Bill Clinton drawl) Awe shucks I almost forgot about the secret recording studio. Barbara Streisand and me would play Chuck Berry’s “My ding a ling” she would toot my horn and I would smoke her cigar. Yep good old Barbara, I miss her dearly.

(In Laura fixed glazed look)You don’t say? Well you know the White house is a fine place to raise children.

(In Bill Clinton drawl) Raise children? I was more like thinking Makin babies. Monica and I used to rehearsal in the Oval office but then Ken Starr had to stick his nose in and waste taxpayers money. Talk about government pork!! By the way Laura you look ravishing today.

(In Laura fixed glazed look) Hmm... Interesting I think we’d better go back to see what George is up to…

Yes We Did

Yes We Can just became Yes We Did.

From my advantage point in the tree house the night sky soars and roars with exhilaration.
To have confirmation of this joyful event you have stand at the crossroads of the world and bathe in a neon glow of America’s magnetic Square. The kaleidoscope colors of race, the cacophony of foreign tongues and the beat of the street all collectively welcome the dawn of a new leader and a new era.

To the north Harlem explodes with redemption while Times Square tells America and the world you have made the right choice.
Back at the tree house and relative calm (I swear I heard the Central Park night life let out an agreeable sigh of relief) with a celebratory Gin and Tonic close by, I sat and watched the victory speech.

I say victory speech because in general they tend to be groinpumpingassbumpingchinthrusting sing-alonggloatfests.

Not the case with the 44th President elect.

Here is a young man who calmly walked to the podium and delivered a sobering account of an outsider overcoming immense odds to realize anything in America is still possible. He also warned that while a historic moment many hurdles still lay ahead.

Due to this affirmation maybe now there might be a resurrection of American optimism radiating across the land, a fundamental characteristic that is been missing in the last eight years, A re charging of the American benevolence and inclusive partnership that this country once held.

There are tough times ahead but also exciting times ahead.

I feel we have a good person at the helm, a person who has the eloquent delivery of Martin Luther King, the intellect of Bill Clinton, the compassion of Jimmy Carter, the looks of JFK and a strong family to keep him young.

The message of change has been heard and history has been made.

OBAMA

Up here in the tree house autumn has suddenly turn into winter with alarming speed, most annoying.

However what’s more troubling, in a recent survey of my sensational E-prose I solicited comments from friends. While the majority of feed back was healthy and well received, a certain lady, name beginning with an A and ending in an A who lives up in the Bronx commented that she enjoyed the content but it was too long…

Well Ladies and Gentlemen that really seems up our world today. So to all of us with a concentration span of a Gnat I will make this posting brief and too the point.

ON TUESDAY THE 4TH OF NOVEMBER 2008

VOTE FOR OBAMA

Surprised Anyone ?

It is nine days before the 2008 election and doesn’t it seem strange that US Special Forces happened to bomb an area five miles inside the Syrian border. The reason cited by US military personal was: Uncontrolled Gateway: meaning foreign fighters flooding into Iraq from the Syria.

In July of this year senior US intelligence told the AP (Associated Press) that foreign fighters had been cut to about 20 a month which translated into 50% drop from six months ago and a fifth of the estimated 100 fighters a year ago.

While the problem of infiltration from Syria is more acute than Jordan or Saudi Arabia these border issues have been on going without any cross border violation. Isn't it odd that this sudden flare up should be so close to a change in the American Administration?

In recent months there have been vigorous efforts on part of the Europeans and Turkish and indeed Syria to secure some peace.

It is perhaps accurate to portray the Syrian leadership as unsavory in light of past events in Lebanon and Israel. But such a provocation now would prevent any meaningful dialogue for the future.

Even in the end Yasser Arafat shook hands and sat down with the Israelis and the Americans.

This perhaps last hurrah for the Bush/Cheney junta to prolong an agenda which is hell bent on blowing everything up in its path will stir the undeciders into voting for a man who shares the same mentality, as opposed to a man who believes that sensible dialogue may pave the way to a better understanding.

It would be naive to think that one could reason with everyone, the Taliban for example, but Syria is a place ripe for change.

The world clearly wants Obama for President (in fact they are gasping for it) because we are all in this together. The days of unilateralism are over. Let the talking begin.

Charitable Dictator

I was leafing through the Forbes magazine the other day and couldn’t help indulge in the top twenty richest folk in America. Always fun to see who’s up down and out. It was interesting to note that our mild mannered business savvy Mayor Michael Bloomberg had shot up the charts to number eight with twenty billion. Twenty Billion...!! Oy Vey that’s loada bagels.

With this wad of money Mike can get up to a lot of mischief. Currently he is pushing for a third term as Mayor and in doing so testing the limits of the good people of New York.

Does he want the same vice grip of Putin and Chavez?
Does he believe he’s the only man in a business suit that can save New York?

It is not surprising that a list of well heeled business and political operatives are lining up to support his proposal. This gives raise to an uneasy feeling of megalomania and business as usual.

With the sky falling and the country in the grasp of a suspect bailout a magnificent noble gesture is required. What I suggest is, give Mr. Bloomberg another four years under the condition that he has to give all his money (yes all twenty billion of it) to the state of New York.

The projected deficit of New York next year is five billion and on that gloomy schedule in four years that would add up to twenty billion. But that will not happen because Mike has declared he’s the right man for the job, therefore by ending his tenure with a surplus.

Just think this act of self sacrifice would make fine examples of the criminal CEO’s that siphoned off company money with no intention of paying back investors and workers.
Does Bear Stearns former CEO Jimmy Cayne have any desire to pay back money his company lost?
Does Lehman Bros CEO Richard Fuld?
Does Countrywide CEO Angelo Mozilo?
Does AIG Maurice Hank Greenberg?

No of course not.

Restore confidence to the city… that’s what great leaders do.
You wanna be a great leader don’t yer Mike?

So what does Mayor Bloomberg get in return?

The Keys to the city:

These are very special keys that unburden one from the concept of earning, eating, saving and stressing about affordable healthcare. Hmm..and free sex.

Absolute freedom within the law no questions asked.

These keys allow the Mayor access and purchase ad nuseum.

If the Mayor walks down the street and fancies a slice of Ben and Franks pizza it’s free.
If the Mayor takes a cab to the salon for a shampoo and set to look presentable for dinner at the Four Seasons it’s free.
If the Mayor wants to see the Mets play the Yankees in the sky box drinking Martini's from Swarovski crystal it’s free.
If the Mayor dances moonwalk style into a club and snort whipped cream of a pair of Hooters tits it’s free.
You get the picture.
Besides how does a person in their mid sixties between now and their death spend twenty billion dollars?
Unload the anxiety; show the other Wall Street Fat Cats that the mentality of Greed on Speed is not the way to live.

There's a new Marshall in town

Here at the Tree house autumn is creeping in and as I ponder the name of the actor who played the Will Kane in High Noon (Gary Cooper) four down ten across. Reverse similarities come to mind about our present financial crisis.

The Marshall is disgusted with the cowardly townsfolk and in the end and rides off into the grey (Its in black and white) beyond with his trusted wife. Today we are faced with a Marshall who is the total opposite of that character.

There’s a new Marshall in town. His name is Hank Paulson. Hank is a name that has a certain cowboy pioneering spirit to it. But this Marshall leads us to believe that everything bestowed on him is in the best interest of the American public. He has rode into town as a benevolent dictator with a Smith and Weston aimed at the temple of Congress. Scared them shitless and finally with much drama handed them a ransom note.

Some call it a rescue package but bailout seems more appropriate. While I’m not diminishing the problems we are facing, who came up with 700 billion? And how did we arrive at such a number.
Ok it has achieved its desired effect of pending doom and cataclysmic meltdown.

But let us consider what Hank (judge, executer, jury and richest man in the world) is going to do. The Treasury department has probably ten people versed in asset management, mortgage backed securities and god knows what other financial instruments. .So what happens, Ah yes you guessed it… outsourcing.

Excellent and who is going to oversee the selling of these debts the very same clowns that sold them in the first place. Hanks Hooligans at Goldman Sachs and other out of work criminals are lining up as consultants waiting to line their pockets again.

The stench of irony and conflict of trust is overwhelming. Is one man going to monitor who sells what and to whom and for what price?

Now that America is a socialist country things have become extremely convoluted. Two weeks ago America was capitalism, free trade and individual prowess. It was, “give me the tools of low taxes and deregulation and bugger off Federal government and we can create wealth and prosperity”. It was a confidence stating “have trust in me”. Well haven’t things changed?

Now Marshall Hank is saying you (The American public) can not be trusted. I will reward Wall Street for their mismanagement, corruption and greed by nationalizing the banks. All with the illusion of helping the Taxpayer.

Hmm… we can not be trusted… unlike the Bankers who can be trusted.

Well what is wrong with giving each family household a lump sum of money from a divided pool distributed through the country (now that we are socialist and all?)
I know some people will blow their wad in Vegas or on Botox, but most people realize bills have to be paid.

Let’s say 100 billion dollars. If they can throw out numbers then so can we.
With that chunk of cash people would have freedom to spend the on things that are real to them such as the mortgage, credit cards, and auto loans and so on. They know what needs have to be addressed, unlike the absurdly complex fuzzy math of Wall Street.

These clever clowns in Wall Street don’t actually know how much these securities are worth. But people on Main Street clearly know what needs to paid. If you give the people the trust and funding then the economy will rebound, confidence will be restored and possibly congressman and women might retain their seats on the Hill. But then again this has all the signs of raving capitalist speaking… jeez what I was thinking… back to the crossword puzzle.

October Surprise

Ladies and Gentlemen October has arrived and in an election year furtive as this one, what on earth is in store for us Americans?

Cast our minds back to 1980 when Jimmy Carter was hanging on in grim desperation. A certain person called George Bush Sr with CIA credentials held off the release of US hostages until Reagan clinched the White house. What could George Bush Jr/Dick Cheney be up too eh?

The Democrats might have their own Halloween nightmare brewing…

It would be correct to say that Hilary and her supporters are still seething. To lose the parties nomination after being heir apparent must hurt…BAD
However it must be said that her husband presence during the primaries was more of a hindrance than a help. The Bill Clinton halo was in need of some halogen intervention.

But redemption and virtue are qualities that America prides it’s self and with the race for the Whitehouse being too close to call, the democrats might have a use for Bill after all.
Here is how it would work.

The (Maverick…yawn) McCain has chosen a foxy babe with great fertility to be his running mate. Yes we’ve seen all the Photoshop porn courtesy of Parsons School of Design and SVA, but here’s the deal. The Democrats need to meet righteous with righteous.

Send out its chief horn dog Bill Clinton to seduce the women and let the Creationist heartland surrender to good reason. Come on peeps you know Billy wants to bed her, even Henry Kissinger said she’s the ultimate arophdisasic, and he knows a thing or two about skullduggery.

It’s the Democrats trump card, and Bill Clinton’s ticket to redemption. A couple of nights in Bill’s capable hands and the pious will be numbed into amnesia.

They will forget where the polling stations are.

They will forget their car keys.

They will forget who to vote for.

They will forget that they said the planet is only six thousand year old!!

Yes people it will be Shaggalicious.

Caught on Fox News TV and syndicated by the 700 club. Ten reasons why Sarah Palin will be voting Democrat:

1. Bill dressed up as Ronald giving Sarah a happy meal lap dance while she beams into the camera I’m Lovin It

2. Bill in JC Penny fitting Sarah out with a yellow pantsuit (stains available upon request)

3. Sarah in The Watergate hotel in a downward facing dog pose on a DNC rug while bill puffs his cigar pondering fresh pelt.

4. Having Neanderthal sex while stocking the Wasilla Library with Darwin’s On the Origin of Species

5. Caught in a Motel 6 aiming a M16 at the balls of Pat Robertson who admitted he was a con artist… Bill supplied the bullets

6. Having Burka sex while handing out Korans at a Mega church to nowhere…

7. Declared she was going to become a community leader and have sex with everyone in the hood…Bill supplied the condoms and the lipstick.

8. Declared that john McCain had a needle dick and Bill was built like a donkey.

9. Giving Bill oral pleasure while he read her the United States constitution.

10. Making out with Bill at a Rolling Stones concert.

Yes Peeps only five weeks to go.