New Normal

Perhaps World War Two never really ended, just an armistice between xenophobic nationals pretending to be Euro – tolerant under the guise of the EU. 

Britain wants nothing to do with European currency and Bulgarian immigration (although European football players get a pass)

Italy can’t decide whether to part their hair on the left or the right. 
Spain rule on the soccer pitch while the country is heading for the ditch. 
Ireland and Portugal want fifteen years to pay back EU loans and France - well the French are the French aren’t they?

Meanwhile…

Just when you thought there was some continuity on the European crisis here’s Cyprus implementing unprecedented measures to stem bankruptcy.

Under orders from Germany’s headmistress Angela Merkel who is fighting for re election, the Cypriot government in voting mode have declared a levy on bank deposits to fund the bailout. 

To touch the holy grail of insured deposits is a might bold attempt at pissing off just about everyone you could imagine. 

However the German taxpayer takes a different view, in true German pragmatism they scream why bailout Russian Gangsters whose plundered gains rest a sunny Mediterranean piggy bank? 

I see their point, except of course legalised robbery and one needs energy, and in case of Russia they have gas and in the past have held Europe to ransom when it comes to pipelines and heating another crappy winter. 

Russia supplies 36% of gas to Europe; that’s a lot power in every sense. 
Despite the German Chancellor’s eagerness to shield the German nation from higher taxes, Vladimir Capone has the upper hand - Stalingrad minus the shelling.  

Could this new standard have repercussions throughout mainland Europe? Quite possible, if nothing else, confidence is in short supply and a new tactic of austerity dictates - your deposits or more taxes. 

If European leaders see this as a trial balloon for bigger economies, it could have catastrophic consequences. For now stock markets in Europe are down, but so far no rush to the ATM.

A fiscal Détente please.

Culinary Conclave

A sensible Republican once said after the Obama 2012 election victory; we are a party of fat, old white men.

Hello that looks remarkably like the Vatican City.

In Rome today the Cardinals of varying plumpness are in a conclave to elect a new Pope.

Shrouded in Secrecy and unbending tradition, 115 Cardinals have the chance to shape history.

Here one might think a fine opportunity could present itself, a moment where an African, Spanish or Asian pope could be elected.

In light of a dwindling European congregation and its historic hold on papacy a change of color would make sense.

South, Central America, Africa and Asia are where the Catholics are for Heaven’s sake – Make it so! In Star Trek vernacular. 

But sense was never the Church of Rome’s forte and indeed much of religion falls short on logic. 

Ironically during the next few days the cardinals will be banished from the outside world. No Twitter, Facebook or phone calls. What a metaphor for the closeted world these powerful men reside.

It would take me days if not months to pinpoint all of the troubles the Church faces and much of it a recurring theme. A recent resignation of the head of the Scottish Catholic church neatly illustrates the ongoing hypocrisy billowing above the Sistine chapel.

There are some interesting specifics concerning this splash of pageantry. This election is the most bet upon non sporting event in the world. A lot of dosh will exchange hands and none of it will pay the Vatican’s heating bills.

Allegedly in the 14^th Century there was a fabulous story concerning Pope Joan who yes, you guessed it, was a woman. To prevent further mayhem chairs were made with large holes to determine the sex of the cardinals or to see who was castrated. 

This wonderfully dovetails into the Room of Tears, a room where the newly appointed pope is overcome with emotion to compose oneself before the Balcony appearance. Tears indeed; a woman pope or castration – you chose?

Instead of white smoke wafting upward to illustrate a decision, how about a culinary starch for indication?

Would it be pasta for an Italian pope, potatoes for a northern hemisphere pope or rice for Africa, Asia and South America pope?