Birth of a Nation

The Technocratic State of AppleLand has made a land grab for Hawaii, all its inhabitants will be relocated to Detroit as a retribution for years of basking in paradise. It is a strategic move to keep an eye on Asia and rub sea salt in the wounds of Sony. AppleLand’s motto will be “My Way or The Hawaii Way” and every visitor to the island will be greeted with a free headset so that they can look trendy walking down the street.

A constitution has been somewhat drawn up with the following preamble: 

We the People of the AppleLand, in Order to form a more perfect domination, establish Justice, International tranquility, insure, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the Technocratic State of AppleLand.

…the rest we’ll make up as more iPads are sold.

There will be no leader; just a secret committee of faceless geeks wearing corduroy, its citizens will be called Apple Lets however they will not receive any dividends. On Independence Day one share will be given to each Apple Lets as way of saying thanks for surrendering your life to a life of gadgetry. 

There will be no religion, just a morning text sent by each Apple Let to our creator “Jobs” to say we‘re logged on.

State stereotypical attire will not comprise of Bowler Hat, Beret or Turbans but a black polo sweater size 6 and ill fitting jeans.

With a State Gross Domestic Product bigger than Poland, Belgium, Sweden, Saudi Arabia, and Taiwan, Appleland GNP well exceeds 100 billion and is in the process of procuring F 15 fighter jets from the USA, Royal Navy frigates from UK and Tangerines from Morocco.

With the birth of a nation, obligations of security and welfare of its Apple Let’s must be considered. Bribery and corruption is the world’s oldest game and Appleland will fend off hostility with discounted refurbished iPods. The jets and ships are just for show, Jobs was a hippy, and the Technocratic ecosystem AppleLand has created will allow market forces to kill its enemy click by click.

The inclusion of AppleLand in the London 2012 Olympics will be a first for the State regardless of slim expectations of medals; however they will drastically improve the Games logo.

AppleLand does for a moment shed a byte for the rest of world in recession - but only a nano bite.