Scum Airways

Yet another example of greed and shame has arisen to cheer up taxpayers of the world. The Royal Bank of Scotland, Britain’s largest Bank has gone tits up, causing its CEO Sir Fred Goodwin into premature retirement and a pension of sixteen million pounds, Goodwin indeed.

While the British government pumps some twenty billion into another calamitous failure, Sir Freddy walks away ferociously unapologetic .This latest act of financial rape puts Prime Minister Gordon Brown in an uncomfortable position to how he can crush the raising anger from the British taxpayer. Mr. Brown has voiced his concern, that it is unacceptable, unjustifiable and so on, but still calls him Sir Freddy.
With that kind of affectionate talk it is hard to believe that anything approaching redemption is possible.

This leaves me with no alternative but to devise a Scum Directory and those who qualify will be picked up by Scum Airways. Now Scum Airways has just secured an order of the 380 Airbus and at this time, ten brand new bailout sized beauties are starting their engines.

The magnificent ‘Sully’ Sullenbeger will head the team of spirited pilots whose mission is to pick up every charlatan, fraudster and coward connected with taxpayer’s grief and fly them to the Afghan /Pakistani border whereupon they will be booted out to the welcoming arms of the Taliban, a place incidentally, where American Express is not accepted.

If there are any survivors they will be rounded up by the CIA and flown to Crawford, Texas, whereby an unemployed George Bush will take great pleasure in the fine art of water boarding.

Just some of our passengers so far:
Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld: Creators of the biggest military Ponzi scheme.
Bernie Madoff: Madoff Securities.
Allen Sansford: Sanford Financial.
Kenneth Lewis: Bank of America.
John Thain: Merrill Lynch.
Sir Fred Goodwin: Royal Bank of Scotland.
Donald Fuld: Lehman Bros.
Chuck Prince, Vikram Panit: Citigroup.
Hank Greenberg: AIG.
Jimmy Cayne : Bear Stearns.
John Mack: Morgan Stanley.
Angelo Mozilo: Countrywide.
Securities Exchange Commission: Blind, Deaf and Dumb
Rick Wagoner: GM.
Robert Nardelli : Chrysler.
Allan Mulally: Ford Motor Company.
Lloyd Blankfein, Robert Rubin, Hank Paulson: Goldman Sachs.
Rush Limbaugh:Moral coward

Scum Airways coming to a landing strip near you.

Come back...whether deserved or not

By now the bizarre behavior of mountain man Joaquin Phoenix on the David Letterman show has made headway with top ten downloads. While strange and sometimes repugnant behavior isn’t new among celebrities who crave constant stroking, this recent burst of tomfoolery has twits who twitter twittering.

Who cares? One might scream, quite right would be the answer. Our perverse need for celebrity as a measuring stick for all things vicarious endures without solution. For some, when celebrity falls off the tracks it’s ever so tempting to stare at the wreckage.

The fact that a talented actor has declared his retirement from acting and has started a new career as a Rap Artist in a climate of downloading and shrinking revenue streams is fanciful and comical. Is it a joke? Is it real? Is it drugs clouding judgment?

The fact that Letterman was not clued into the joke or the drugs made the interview more compelling.

We are in the throes of “Come Back” time. We had Brittany shaving her head, dropping/losing her kids, bashed out on tequila and lack luster dance steps. Now the wholesome beaming smile has returned to a toned body that is ready to conquer the world.

The highly talented Robert Downey Jr. Exits from jail after deep heroin abuse to lead roles that earn him Oscar’s nominations.

Even the wonderful voice of Whitney Houston has sold her crack pipe and is making Clive Davies smile again, and lastly the craggy bad ass, Mickey Rourke after of years in the wilderness is the real favorite to win best actor in a leading role at the Academy Awards.

America loves a comeback, whether deserved or not.

The envelop please.

Will this determine if mountain man Phoenix is a comeback or an actor’s final Rap?

8 Hits in 60 seconds

A funny thing happened to me this morning at breakfast; I was opening my Kellogg’s Corn Flakes and out popped a bong pipe. In days gone by it used to be some mysterious plastic figurine that would hold your attention, for what seemed hours while you munched away staring at the cereal box. This was brilliant marketing on the part of Kellogg’s. In Ireland during the 80’s a Green Card would fall out causing a systemic exodus to the land of Uncle Kellogg.

In recent days we have witnessed rampant lunacy among the righteous who claim swimming superstar Michael Phelps smoking cannabis is leading all children to the gates of hell.
Kellogg’s in their infinite wisdom dropped sponsorship for the 14 times Olympic gold medalist.

‘He was a role model for the young and impressionable’ cried the serial cerealists.

A role model!! Perhaps the only role model should be ones parents, and that’s a stretch in most cases.

We can’t even get our Senators to pay taxes, our Judges to pay for nannies and Governors to stop working the prostitution ring. Talk about reaching for the impossible.
The level of hypocrisy makes me want to take up Water polo. Was there any outcry about the beers he was slamming down or the number of shots thrown back?

Apparently not, because that is acceptable and glorified, most advertising would crumble without having booze to promote; not mention how it’s promoted. Alcohol is just as disruptive as drugs and yet some people are still blind to this fact.

Michael Phelps is 23 and for the most of those 23 years he has sacrificed a great deal to reach his goals and dreams. To penalize him on behavior that most young adults do on regular basis is ridiculously unfair.

And let’s face it, what is frostie flake Tony the Tiger smoking when he beams ‘They’re Grrreat!!

Salary Cap

President Obama has imposed a $ 500,000 cap on executive pay for companies who receive federal bailout money. In addition the elimination of golden parachutes for the top five to ten executives would be implemented and Shareholders would have more say on executive compensation.

Indeed this is a noble effort. In part to counter the groundswell of outrage from Main Street and to get the stimulus bill passed through the Senate.

Sadly this will not apply to the companies that already have or are in the process of receiving TARP money. So the CEO’s of AIG, Citigroup, and Bank of America and so on will be allowed to languish with their millions off shore somewhere.

However strident these plans are they won’t combat the pervasive nature of Wall Street which is Greed.

“Who is going to work for a messily half million bucks a year with no bonus?” is the primal scream from the Board room. When you have been used to getting tens of millions it must feel like chicken feed.

The idea that CEO’s are paid astromincal amounts for failure is an argument worth propagating. So far there haven’t been any protests in the streets to demand serious penalties and jail time. If a million people can come out to an inauguration why the same number can’t come out and voice vitriolic disgust.

E mailing dissent won’t just do, me included here. Pushing executives out of their Gulf Stream jets without a parachute is a wonderful act of symbolism to end the tradition.

But if it’s greedy Brook Brothers clad types with hands in the till then it’s also lawmakers who don’t want to pay taxes. Business as usual? Not a healthy way start to a new administration.

At least some withdrew before hypocrisy was allowed to stain the new carpets in the Oval office.
If the banks are now nationalized, then the top job should be paid as much as the President which is $400,000.

What are you complaining about…you just got an extra $ 100,000… did you earn it?