The Swell Season

It must be Wednesday, because I received a call in the delicate hours of the morning warning me of a Latte landing. Yes he’s back comrades, and determined to ruin my stealthy recovery from the previous week.

“The Swell Season is in town” he purred, no doubt calling from that blessed IPhone.

I was in need of some music therapy consideration the current climate of financial doom.

If you saw the delightful film Once then you might know the success of the film gave birth to the principle writers and actors (Glen Hansard and Marketa IrgIova) performing songs in a collective unit know as the The Swell Season.

Rightfully it won an Oscar for best original song (Falling Slowly) thus propelling them from small town to Tinsel town.

If you did not the see the film then you will be punished by the hands of Dick Cheney; gunfire or Water boarding… the choice is yours.

The band takes its title from a book by the same. It was written by Josef Skvorecky and takes place in Nazi controlled Czechoslovakia about one mans love of music and the chase of unattainable women.

The film is set in Dublin, in the present day and plays closely to the themes in the book.

Go and see the Film... it’s unconstitutional otherwise.

This time the venue was in Central park, which was most thoughtful considering I live there. From my elevated advantage point I could see Rumsey playfield in its entire panoramic splendor.

However not impressed to watch the show from the tree house, Lousy Latte suggested backstage where the art of pressing flesh could be conducted.

Sadly we missed the two opening acts the soulful Liam O Maonlai (Hothouse Flowers) and Patty Griffin.

Right on time Glen and Marketa bounced on stage and swept into Van Morrison’s Into the Mystic followed by the hit Falling Slowly huddled closely on the piano stool, which drew great cheers from the crowd.

Marketa’s cardigan has to be a contender for Knitwear for the year.

From then on it was songs from the film interlaced with a Michelle Shocked cover and a couple of Frames songs which Glen fronts when he is in a rock ‘n’ roll mood.

Indeed, during the show the band’s numbers swelled (pun very much intended) to bass, violin and guitar augmenting beautifully the richness of the songs.

The band where dressed in Thrift store chic and the combined cost of their clothes must have added up to the price of a Bruno Magli shoelace. Glad to see Oscar triumph hasn’t dampened their busker attire.

Being Irish, Glen’s story telling was vintage Dub, funny, heartfelt and self deprecating. There was one story that humbled his new found fame. A fan in Ireland requested an autograph for his friend. He said his friend loved the music however she was deaf!! Priceless who need Oscars?

As a final song they came back on joined by the brilliant shoeless Liam O Maonlai for a gorgeous version Dylan’s Forever Young.

Oh to be in the woods with an enthusiastic crowd soaking up delicious music. It restores my faith the human spirit and all because of mahogany, spruce, wire, ebony, ivory, steel string and vocal chords. OK a little electricity for the PA, but you get the drift.

Music; what a healer?

Let us repair to the bar and rejoice in it's afterglow...and naturally we did over a most agreeable Syrah.

Swell indeed

Career Change

If you go down to midtown today your in for a great surprise.

Lehman Bros have bite the dust you can hear the brokers cries.

Midtown Manhattan is in a meltdown.

The scene over the weekend (reminiscent of the Bear Stearns collapse) was of Brooks Brother’s blazers and open neck shirts exiting Lincoln town cars, entering glass towers, had familiar anxiety about it.

The usual mob was there, Federal regulators, Dept of Treasury and the remaining bankers who had not fallen from grace were giving up another weekend away from the golf course.

Then Black Monday.

Lehman was not going to be bailed out by the government contrary to the rumor mill and therefore was facing immediate bankruptcy. Then just when you thought it could not get any worse, Bank of America scoops up Merrill Lynch for the price of a ham sandwich. Not content to be outdone AIG (American International Group) spills its guts and looks puppy dog style towards the Fed.

Tell me… can you fit all that in one headline?

Now we turn to camera shots of tearful workers carrying boxes, staring into our living rooms and offices questioning the wisdom of the government in not bailing them out.

Guess what? You said you were too big to fail.
Where does it end?
Does the taxpayer get another rear end maneuver?

I have news for you, AIG are bigger and sadly they’ll probably get DGI (divine governmental intervention.)

But as former employees ponder the future and review the banking world as a career, take a look across the pond. On the same day in London, Sotheby’s was giddy with record breaking sales of zebra’s, bulls and sharks in a tanks of formaldehyde.

The auction house was delirious with the work of one artist, Damien Hirst who racked over $200 million in two days, smashing every record by a dead or living artist.

Clearly the Art World is not in trouble. Which brings me to career change; perhaps bypass E Bay and start converting your office chairs and wares into some gold and diamond encrusted art piece.

Not that I’m inciting violence, then drag your nearest hedge fund manager and soak him in formaldehyde. Then find some in work fund manager to buy it from you for an insane amount of Euro’s.

How about that for revenge and a pension plan?

As Damien Hirst said “Art is what you can get away with”

The Clinton Ghost

Oh it’s fun having friends who move in a higher social altitude than you. My good drinking partner Lousy Latte is such a fellow. It was a call in the middle of the night that drew alarm, but the invitation promised Bill Clinton as the keynote speaker.

How could I refuse? Besides it would be bad form to decline canapés with the world’s most famous cigar handler.

The event was the 75th Anniversary of Esquire magazine and was to be held at Gotham Hall.

The venue was a classic backdrop for stylish men on the make flanked by delicate fillies fussing enthusiastically over their attire.

When inspecting the Tree house wardrobe I spotted my “off the peg” Ben Sherman suit perfect counterpoint to the Bruno Magli shoes, Paul Stuart suits, Charles Tywhitt shirts and Thomas Pink ties I had to contend with.

Kick off was at 7.30pm and the walk down from CP headquarters stirred a marvelous appetite for unabashed revelry. True to form Lousy Latte had ditched his Blackberry for the latest IPhone clearly preferring Madison Ave over Wall Street.

“I’m just trying it out” he beamed showing off photographs of his son.

Inside I felt I was in a Roman Coliseum in Flavian times. With its circular design and majestic classic pillars I thought togas rather than pin stripes.

Once the first Hendricks Martini was captured we mingled among the Magazine set while the edgy downtown girl played sensible beats on her Power Mac.
I was introduced to a gallerist whose name I completely forgot but which could not be said for his appearance. He reminded me of Dave Stewart from the band The Eurthymics.

For what it’s worth you can not under any circumstances wear tan shoes with a black pin stripe suit. I was tempted to call security.

He was perfectly pleasant and had apparently something to do with tonight’s art design.

I did wonder however how this term Gallerist came about. What’s wrong with Art dealer?

Then my Martini mind wandered into an imagined reply.

“Oh we represent the Artist and their nurturing… it’s just not transaction you know, anyway Art dealer could be mistaken for Drug dealer or Arms dealer.

We are on the right side of the law..” and it was then that I awoke to an empty glass which had to be filled.

Coming back from the bar with my liquid purchases I spotted Charlie Rose looking slightly disheveled and in need of some sleep. Naturally he was surrounded by women and God knows who wanting to be on his show. I think the magic password with Charlie is cabernet...That should secure you a place at the round table.

Lousy Latte and I were later joined by Doug Biro a former Record executive turn filmmaker whose work included Dave Mathews, Herbie Hancock and Ian McEwan.

He was here to see Bill Clinton.

Doug, you guessed it..had an IPhone, so when the conversation sagged I was in a Mexican stand off, each one trying to show off the marvels of Steve Jobs clairvoyance.

Honestly I felt I was in the texting Olympics.

By now I had gone in search of much needed food. The balance between fluids and solids were hugely uneven and if I was to focus our former intern seducer I needed to be at my best,
or at least vertical.

With my first plate of food came the first speech by Kevin O'Malley the publisher who looked stealth in his navy blue suit; however I can’t remember much other than it must have been a moral booster considering the downturn in ad revenue.

Next was David Granger the editor in chief who looked like a better dressed Phil Collins yet again I couldn’t remember bugger all about what he said. But he did use cue cards which I thought was a little Jeopardy.

When Bill Clinton arrived at the microphone an enormous cheer filled the room affirming his celebrity status. Looking fit and healthy and grinning from ear to ear he commented that being at Gotham Hall made him feel like Batman. Clearly Esquire had spent most of the evening’s budget on the Clinton aura and the seven minutes worth didn’t disappoint.

First he thanked the former speakers for all their efforts, and then he thanked Esquire for including his wife in the 75 most influential people.

He spoke of a future of shared values and America’s slip in the world in comparison to China, citing better infrastructure and quicker internet speed. The 21st century provided huge challenges, and are we equipped to deal with them?

Insecurity and climate change was mentioned and the need too have a more allies than adversaries. And in closing he made the analogy of the USA basketball team winning the gold medal as a team in Beijing.

Leron James was a celebrity guest, but was MIA. It wasn’t like he could hide!

It was vintage Clinton, no cue cards, no script, just effortless delivery. Then he disappeared just like Batman.

We turned back to our drinks and pondered on the dollar minute ratio. Did he do it for free or donate his fee to his charity?

On exiting the hall Leron James appeared with his friends sizing up the room looking like a banker.

Outside in the street, the conversation turned from congratulations to where on earth do we drink next? Wisely we fought off those tempting impulses and bid farewell.

I strolled home back to the Tree house and I couldn’t help think that Clinton still had the magic, but it was ghost like.

A new generation had arrived and he was a reluctant to give it up.

Levi Johnston RIP

Let me be as clear as possible,” Obama said. “I think people’s families are off-limits, and people’s children are especially off-limits. This shouldn’t be part of our politics. It has no relevance to Gov. Palin’s performance as governor or her potential performance as a vice president.” .

Thanks for the concern but hear me out please...

I know what you are doing right now ...watching my future mother in law speak to the world.
Yeah great... but spare a thought for me.

A week ago I was out fishing with my buddies, kicking back a few beers thinking about all the pretty girls I'm gonna date. Known to the world by twenty people.

And Now look !! some crusty old bad tempered french fry has outed me to the world.

I 've never heard of John McCain. I though he was a potatoe.http://www.mccain.com/index.htm

We don't have television up here in Alaska. We just have crazy names like Track and Trig and Bristol.

He has just mapped out my life in a week.

And his dreadful wife Candy or whatever her name is, she wants me to drink Bud lite. Bud lite !! we feed Bud lite to the Mouse !!

I'm screwed... even if I wanted to break up Bristol how could I ? I have more flash bulbs than Brad and Angelina giving birth.

I would leave the country but no one in Alaska has a passport, not even mummy Sarah !!

So when you see me tonight, on stage chewing gum looking tough and Johnny Rotten like, feel my pain.If Crusty McCain wins I'm going Into the Wild.

Levi Johnston (1990-2008)

Explaining Palin

Oh fiddlesticks the Democrats and some women in particular (Oprah) are getting their knickers in a twist. This Sarah Palin threat is only as potent as you let it be.

Let's put things in perspective shall we.

Sarah Palin’s entrance was a good night for her and the GOP. It is wonderful to see a woman up for the VP post.
However; Not the right woman. Not the right party.

She happens to be an attractive, feisty, funny woman. With her easy smile and folksy manner she has captivated the screen and succeeded in the big gamble that McCain is trying to pull off.

I agree soccer moms; it is irresistible to think that she looks like you. That was the calculation.

Meanwhile it reeks of Karl Rove. The plan is to appease the base support of the GOP a successful tacit employed by Rove which worked well yester year but will not work this time.

I can see the mega church’s parking lot awash with disciples on bended knee in a Palin prayer.

The plan to pick someone outside the Washington elite and beltway and capture perhaps some pissed off Hilary supporters is an admirable one, but really folks, how transparent.

The woman is a Social Conservative appealing to the extreme Right.

The Maverick McCain is trying to cover all areas. Not to mention covering all the lobbyists.

Let's look at her record:
Pro Life
Pro NRA
Drill for Oil at all costs
Bought the Governorship by BP
Just got a passport.

It was wonderful that in the 80’s Great Britain had a woman Prime Minister that ruled for eleven years. It just happened she was the wrong person for the job.

It is wonderful that Condi Rice is a black woman Sectary of State. She just happens to be the wrong woman.

Now the queen of soap, Oprah has seen it not fit to have her on the show.

Honestly, talk about an open forum. The last thing Democrats want are Hollywood tears forfeiting the election.

All this talk of sexism is tiresome.

Lets us concern ourselves with the issues. Vote on the politics and not on color and sex.

Terror Alert

Greetings

I take no credit for this piece of malarky but thought I'd progagate it's profound silliness.

As many are aware, the French government recently announced a raise in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal level is "General Arrogance", and the only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.
It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert: Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides".
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to "Dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels: "Invade a neighbour" and "Lose".
Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "Isolationism" to "Find another oil-rich nation for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack random countries (ideally those without any credible military)" and "Beg the British for help".
The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of 1666.
The Australians thought about doing something but have decided that their security level of "She'll be right mate" is enough.