Midterm Scare

Which is more frightening Halloween or the mid term elections? Answer below.

America claims it’s the greatest democracy in the world. Hmmm…Well let’s see; it is a democracy and at times displays greatness that much is true.

But this greatness also stands shoulder to shoulder with scariness; perhaps the greatest scariness democracy in the world would be more fitting. With all its ballyhoo and pomp it is easy too want to fly to the furthest corner of the globe to escape the stench such as Hillary Clinton is doing. Her two week trip to the Far East and further is an act of skillful diplomacy in its self. Or what about a one way ticket to Mars as NASA is proposing. Or do a runner like Dennis Quaid and seek asylum in Canada.

Either way the midterms have become a cattle call for all the extremists, be it in the media, business, politics and entertainment world to behave in a fearsome manner. What happened to all that Hope? Generally countries outside the US (and sometimes habitants inside) have no real interest in the mid terms but because of the historic win two years ago with so much optimism non Americans are perplexed as such a change of heart. A quick fix was never in the mix, how could it be? This story has many chapters long and deep and affects the world at large.

While it is important to vote, it isn’t half a slog these days to walk through the minefield of crap and come to the conclusion that there is very little direction home. Clearly the country is angry and there’s a lot to be angry about but this discontent is not helped by the choice of candidates.

All indicators point to a overhauling of Congress and a middle finger squarely placed before Obama’s face. But political schizophrenia has set in. On one hand you have bile surfacing from the Tea Party brigade and on the other, the ‘Hands thrown up in the air’ despair mob.

This schism invites each to conclude that the country is ungovernable. We have candidates who don’t know the constitution, others who are homophobic, racist, fraudsters, bigots, mentally unstable and actors pretending to be retired postal workers (Samuel Jackson) I guess this is to be expected in the greatest democracy in the world where everyone is accounted for.
But wait, so much money spent but so many voting machines broken… there’s a metaphor in there somewhere I think.

So which is more frightening? The Midterms, winners receive a clove of garlic. All the houses on Elm Street are foreclosed and Freddy is out of work; and what could be more haunting than a bunch of pretenders trick or treating at your door step this weekend.

Miners, Mistresses, Wives and Videotape

In a world full of murder madness and malcontent, it is refreshing to witness an event such as the mining rescue in a Chilean desert. This wonderful unfolding story had all the hallmarks of the human condition. If this is news to you, then clearly you have been living under a rock or a pile of rocks just as the thirty three miners trapped half a mile below surface for seventy days.

The remarkable scenes of miners surfacing, one by one from the great abyss was a testament to the courage fortitude and incredible teamwork of a great many people.

Paramount to a successful conclusion, this Rock Star rescue warranted Chile’s day in the sun equitable to winning the World Cup and having the Vatican reside in Santiago. Interestingly with all our technical advancements it was the image of the winch and the wheel which brought the miners fresh rays of light. This bastion of medieval technology still serves us well in the modern age.

However the drama revealing it self top soil was far noisier than the relative quiet of the quarantined thirty three bottom soil. Seventy days underground can expose the most vital of emotions; Love… or Lust or Lies, heavens I have forgotten which. So when certain miners were being claimed by wives and mistresses one may think for a brief second, jeeper’s life down here isn’t so bad. Naturally I jest but from now on there will be a whole load of claiming. Scenes from above make the Jerry Springer show look docile, Red Cross workers have been adopting combat posture to diffuse outbreaks of documented and undocumented women.

I am sure Apple is working on an App for miners with mistresses in a half a mile radius.

The claiming will continue in the form of government compensation, TV and book offers and holidays in the sun. The psychologists employed are going to have a field day in calming the emotional upheaval while government officials’ a legal nightmare in who is entitled to what.

Ironically, may the recovery begin; in isolation away from the rolling videotape and the winding winch.

Holy Quarreling Quarans !!

Tis the season for burning, What nothing good on TV ?

Hmm…let’s see internet porn not holding your attention?

Now that the silly season is in full swing where have the grownups gone?

We would like to think just right about now the elders of good reason are going to step in and say Ok kids break’s over.

We hoped that was case with the financial meltdown two years ago.

We hoped that would be case on Capitol Hill.

We hoped that was case with Katrina, the BP oil spill and on and on.

Apparently there are no grownups in the world. Sorry kids don’t waste your time filling out student loan forms just stay were you are on Twitter, Facebook, Ping and Foursquare. Adulthood has been cancelled.

Islam is under fire, pun very much intended. Moving from the Mosque madness in Manhattan we have now landed in Gainesville Florida to a tiny congregation aptly called Dove World Outreach Center (hard to make this stuff up…really)

Here resides a Terry Jones (No not Tom Jones, keep focused) he is the pastor who wants on Saturday the eleventh of September 2010 to burn the BeJesus out of Korans.

He is unhappy with the proposed building of the mosque in nearby Ground Zero. Citing that Islam is the devil, he has arrived at the conclusion that having a bonfire of the vanities would be a fine way to wipe away all sin of the Muslim kind.

With a history of biblical stunts this would appear to be his crowning halo moment.

Naturally this has set off a firestorm of its own in the Muslim world. Various leaders of the world have been queuing up for pyrotechnics primetime speaking out against the wisdom of such an event with marginal results.

While not a fan of religion, I support the right for peoples from all corners of the earth to practice Bronze Age mythology without fear of persecution and intolerance.

But the sandpit of craziness can’t go undocumented;

I imagine freshly minted copies of the Koran by way of Amazon landing on Mr. Jones door only to find they are copies of the new memoir by Tony Blair.

Next would be trainee evangelicals scourging the Gainesville public library looking for dusty Korans.

Donald Trump has intervened wanting to buy the mosque building for an apprentice price and no doubt will put up his second Taj Mahal, but wait isn’t that Hindu or Persian… Ah the confusion!

Even Sarah Palin has chimed in, it hard to fathom her knowing what the Koran is; probly thinks we are talking about Korea.

Meanwhile such hilarity is squashed by the fact that people do lose lives over these acts of lunacy. Our impotent leaders tried to calm the waters but come out with idiotic comments such as ‘Our soldiers will be put harms way ‘Harms way! We are at bloody war, what do you think happens in war time?

But on the matter of burning things; it puzzles me that such a big and brave religion as Islam (and other rock star religions for that matter) should be so concerned with bunch of clowns setting fire to an embalmed parchment of ink. Is religion and Islam so brittle that it can’t stand up to the flames of libricide?

Shackled Minds

There is a helluva din down at Ground Zero these days and it's not just the sounds of cranes and hardhats blowing in the wind.The reason for this hot air is a proposed building of a Islamic Mosque two blocks away.

Because of the location this has become a contentious issue and thus invited all manner of people to chime in. It would appear everything is as stake; The World's Religions, the Presidency, and members of Congress, the US Constitution and of course the People.

But if you declare on a continual bases that America is the worlds greatest democracy and land of the free then expect division.

Under the Constitution it clearly states separation of Church and State.So here we are favoring some religions over another. Ahem...not terribly tolerant Sam ?

Isn't tolerance the goal here ?

Isn't the roll of good governance to allow ideas of all persuasions to prevail ?

Indeed one can criticize debate and hold accountable of actions unlawful, but to prohibit a particular belief system reeks of hypocrisy.

If this is the message, then what the hell have we been doing in Iraq and Afghanistan ?

Has all the blood and treasure spilt and spent been all in vain ?

In Saudi Arabia, Iran and North Korea to name a few, such ideas are squashed with scolding venom. While it is likely to build a Church,Temple or Synagogue in those places as it is the Pope allowing women priests, isn't it here, one can lead by example, and show those of shackled minds how to grow.

I am sure on 911 some Muslims also perished. We all lost something that day.

Perhaps here is an opportunity to finally show some leadership.

Ah... The Friendly Skies

Steven Slater is a hero to some, I prefer a comedian. There is a bit of him in all of us. In a final exit and subsequent return to substance abuse, he has managed to channel our most fanciful scenarios into a slide to freedom and guaranteed unemployment.
If the flying departure of a Jet Blue flight attendant has escaped your notice,then either you haven't paid the phone bill or you are off the grid.

In summary: A heroic or horny (eventually arrested at his house by police during fornication) extremely fed up Jet Blue employee has pulled the toilet chain on his career in dramatic fashion.

Events dictate that he was being subjected to passenger abuse,which included a foul mouth and physical exchange that resulted in declaring over the public address system his displeasure with the offender, life and twenty years of service.

It was then (the plane had landed...phew) that he deployed the emergency chute,procured some beer (recovering alcoholic !!) and with the joy of a four year old at Six Flags slid his way to an early evening romp with his presumed puzzled lover.

As of yet there appears to be no record on YouTube of this bizarre event.However the story has caught flight across the Internet culminating in a wave of sympathy and support.

Indeed flying today is a tedious and a frustrating affair and I am sure at many a moment one has empathized with the job of the flight attendant.
However taking the short way home as Mr. Slater did at thirty five thousand feet would be most unwelcome.Luckily that wasn't the case.

Most wish at sometime or another, they had the fortitude to do likewise when ones job becomes unbearable.
We all live through Mr. Slater everyday, but fail to act upon those impulses for the obvious reasons.
Perhaps there is a sliver lining in the clouds to this story.

A few days prior captured on YouTube, passengers on a Lufthansa flight from Germany to Israel were witness to a pillow flight among the cabin crew much to their enjoyment.

It is nice to see that flying can be fun and the bile of air rage can be smothered from time to time.
Mr. Slater your new job awaits you in friendlier skies.


http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/295874

Invisible Mud

It would be rather remiss of me not to indulge you to my whereabouts these past months.

Just barging back into your lives with insightful pieces of prose without explanation was woefully impolite.

You see readers there's reason for it 'Sweden'

Yes thank heavens for the Swedes;for in their infinite wisdom they crowned me with the Nobel Prize for Literature (yes standards have dropped)

Along with a great deal of respect the NP (as past recipients like to refer) furnishes one with a Saab size wad of cash.It couldn't have come at a more appropriate time considering the downturn in well... everything!

Now here was an opportunity to give back to Sweden. I employed the creative services of Tham and Videgard Hansson Artitekts to build myself a new house, something mod,but discreet to keep the autograph seekers at branch length.

So with all the reliance and durability of a Volvo they came up with the Invisible Tree House.

While this resurrection was taking place, I was to be found hopping from bed to bed at IKEA in Elizabeth, New Jersey. There was no time write, just luxuriate with a copy of 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"among the faux pine and gleeful renters of furniture.

So here I am, back amongst the foliage of Central Park keeping an eye on the manifestations of Manhattan down below.

Due to my new found fame,soon to be Ex Mrs, Tiger Woods has delightfully made her services available for three days a week to house clean,which really brings a wholly new meaning to ABBA's "The Winner Takes It All"

Pensioners Rock !

It is hard to comprehend that Ringo Starr has turned seventy and that his ex bass player Sir Paul is two years behind him at sixty eight. Both are still exhibiting performances that artists from any age can learn from. Another artist of lesser fame is approaching sixty in December,her name Joan Armatrading.

While not as high profile as say Joni Mitchell (but just as talented) she has been around the scene for almost forty years.

The 1976 smash hit "Love and Affection" became an instant classic for soft mood lighting and a easy passage to the bedroom. After a torturous day of listening to the Mel Gibson tapes one was deservedly entitled to a night of artistic integrity for good cheer.

It's a barmy summer's night and,Me,Myself,I is in Times Square with 70's punk raconteur and star photographer Richard Longo Burrows. The audience reminded me of the characters on Antiques Road Show, only they knew what the night was worth.

Joan appeared in only what could be described as a mandarin collared pair of pyjamas and sensible fitting sandals clearly comfort over glamour. Over the decades gravity has tamed her famous helmet Afro into a brushed down look more in tune with a history professor.

But don't let that fool you, strapping on her Tom Anderson guitar and augmented by a stealth band comprising of bass, drums and keyboards they slid into "Show Some Emotion" the 1977 jazz flavored hit.

From there, without pause she broke into songs from her new album This Charming Life.These songs noticeably had a more blues feel to them and displayed some wonderful Clapton type playing which came as something of a surprise.

With her faint warm Birmingham accent she greeted the audience and lay hints to some of the songs we would be hearing. The hits ? of course, we are here to make you happy she beamed.

With that she put her twelve string Ovation guitar on and plucked the opening chords to "Love and Affection". Brilliant as it was, it wasn't the show stopper as she ran through many of her well known songs "I love it when you call me Names","Me, Myself, I", "Willow" and "All the way from America".

It was "The weakness in Me" that showed the soulful yearning in her voice that hasn't over time been lost.

There was a new song that she wanted to get the audience participation on "Best dress On" .It is a great pop stomp that invites the crowd to shout out the chorus until the band decides to finish the song. All along the tour she has been measuring the crowds response to this song and posting the city with the best collective lungs on her website.

Naturally New York took up the challenge and tore off the roof. The energy level had increased and after nearly two hours,this almost sixty year old was was launching into her final song "Drop the Pilot" a wonderful climax to a fantastic show full of warmth, fun and admiration.

If there are any youngsters out there who want to know what professionalism,endurance and real talent is like, and what it takes to have that, then look to the artists who are travelling for half price on Municipal transport.