Another One Bites the Dust

Michael Jackson is dead, give me back my mascara !!!

Much has been said about the king of Pop, a lot of it valid, some not so.

Time will tell if his unsavory off stage behavior will eclipse his shining light.

The focus here is the music and excitement he created for all of us to enjoy.

In the words of another great pop act ABBA “Thank You for the Music”

Crusin Susan

Summer is finally here peeps and the Tree house is brimming with activity. Doing his bit for the recession Lousy Latte has opted out of fancy hotels and has crashed landed at chez moi. There is ample room for scallywags and recovering mentalists, yes it’s true Lousy Latte has been joined at the foot of the bed by singing sensation Susan Boyle.

"Reports in the British press that SuBo, (as she’s known there), is rooming at the celeb rehab The Priory, due to a breakdown on hearing about British MP’s expenses are completely baseless" says Lousy Latte.
“The politicians have been eager to capitalize on this poor woman” Lousy Latte added “just look what the Conservatives are saying”
“All this ink about SuBo telling the Prime Minister Gordon Brown to F*$K Off is completely true” says David Cameron leader of the opposition “we have now a chance at taking back Scotland due to the help of songstress Susan”

While the British tabloids go berserk on whether to lead with the latest Amy Winehouse tattoo or Subo’s off color Tourette’s the real story lies in Central Park, New York.

Due to his skill in Haberdashery Lousy Latte has been gainfully employed to groom and launch Miss Boyle’s career in the biggest market possible…Detroit.

With the collapse of the motor industry it would only seem gracious for SuBo to cheer up the good unemployed folk of Motor City to endless renditions of Andrew Lloyd Weber. “If this won’t get the engines running again nothing will,” cities Lousy Latte.

As one who never misses an opportunity he said of Lousy latte “He has our complete support and backing “beamed Mayor Mike Bloomberg.

“We know his talents as a gifted hairdresser and marketing mench will reap rewards for Detroit’s tax base.”

” We are confident at the end of the day we will have an Authentic product.”

The Show must NOT go on !!!

Oh golly gum drops just when you thought there were an ease in the recession and American Idol was finished for another season, along comes The Eurovision Song contest.

How and why is this show still on?
Along with Guantanamo Bay shouldn’t this be classed as a human rights violation?

Being of European Extraction I grew up with this bizarre mess of a show and thus began my unapologetic snobbery towards my fellow Euros. It must be said without any hesitation of bias that the Brits have and still produce the best Rock and Pop music, and not since the days of Mozart and Chopin and somewhat recently U2 has our European neighbors have come anywhere near a decent song.

Perhaps it is written in the Constitution of the European Continent that anyone caught writing a song remotely good will be served the same fate as Napoleon, and carted off to St.Helena in the mid Atlantic ocean, sandwiched between the greats of contemporary music America and Great Britain.

However, in 1974 a Swedish band named ABBA won and proved to be the exception and like their cars rode on to enormous success.

It is the European Championship of Pop music minus the talent and all under the fever of jingoist pride. Each country votes on every other country but their own, and takes great relish in serving zero points to countries more embarrassing than their song.

This year the host country is Russia. Now last I heard Russia was not a European country, but then again nor is Israel. Now one would think that their respective reps would spare the non Euro’s the agony of such a spectacle, alas not the case, on this night everyone wants to be a crowned a European clown.

Last night’s show declared Norway the winner with a performance from a young fluffy haired fiddling Ashton Kutcher lookalike. While is it unnerving to watch someone sing and play the violin at the same time, the leftovers of humanity will be rewarded by his swift disappearance as the EU breaks up and becomes giddy with the prospect of autonomy.

Broadcasted from Ojai, which may sound like a place in Europe but isn’t, commiserations must go to Ireland’s song “Hickory Tits and Fiddlesticks” sung by Mac Giggles Mac Mullen which was voted…Ahem last.

Next year the host country will be Botswana…I wonder if anyone will notice it is in continental Africa ?

Swine Crime

Swine crime equals prime time. Vice President Joe Biden tells the Nation to stay still, don’t move, do not go on subways,buses,trains and airplanes and please please, do not kiss (when was the last time he rode the subway). Life is over peeps.

It’s a government conspiracy. The US is trying to deter the Mexican immigrant and kill off the drug cartels, but wait a minute. Mexico City is a city of 20 million, so far one hunderd dead, more died eating the tequila worm. Hey it's Cinco de Mayo… Ah such timing.

No really, contrary to what Pink Floyd might visualize, pigs can’t fly, besides there are trade restrictions. Leave the swine alone they laugh with George Orwell at this people folly. This is a human virus Influenza A carried by humans, its humans versus humans folks. It is Obama’s 101 day in office, hasn’t he got enough on his plate?

But that hasn’t quashed madness among the Egyptians; they are slaughtering every known pig. I thought Muslims refrained from pork; such confusion, such panic.

But Mayor Bloomberg reacts and attacks convention wisdom; he is going to ride the entire NYC subway system twice just to prove how crazy we are, but that the still leaves out Staten Island. Crumbs what will happen to Staten Island?

Up the in the Tree House one can see things with alarming clarity, the Nanny State continues to prosper.

Nothing To Lose

The first bloody test for the Obama administration came by way of Somali pirates seeking treasure from the West, or so it’s perceived. Despite the thuggish element that permeates our understanding of this unending saga, the problem is as big and complex as the Indian Ocean.

Since the early nineties when Somalia descended into hell on earth making Afghanistan in comparison a walk through a Chelsea garden show, it fell prey to tribal warlords, menacing Sharia law and a sabotaged fishing industry. Somalia can be clearly described as a lawless state with nothing but misery upon the horizon. Since the collapse the Asians and Europeans have been fishing illegally leaving Somali with no source of income and a coastline bordering on extinction.

Fisherman now become pirates out of sheer survival, nothing to with religion or imposed agenda. And if that wasn’t enough, not content with depleting the coastline the European feels it’s quite appropriate to dump their nuclear waste with complete immunity.

In 2005 when the Tsunami rolled on through, it washed up toxic waste that resulted in severe health problems for the Somalia population. While I don’t diminish the fear of been taken hostage and would very much like to have Navy Seal’s precision firepower on my side, the outcome sadly is inconclusive. There will be more hostages, perhaps with messy endings not as fortunate as this recent one and let’s face it, when you’ve got nothing, you’ve got nothing to lose.

So spare a thought when you tuck into that juicy Tuna Steak in some fabulous restaurant, did it leave you with a good taste in your mouth?

Good Sense Friday

It has been a few weeks now since the Pope visited North Africa and declared the use of condoms forbotten in the fight against AIDS. For once words failed me (some might be happy about that) in the monstrous lunacy from the Vatican and its CEO Benedict XVI.

The former South African President Thabo Mbeki also had a fanciful notion that AIDS was not caused by HIV. Have leaders of politics and faith completely taken leave of their senses?

Just when the sheer weight of denial crushed me, I came upon a video by a wonderful artist called Patrick Boivin. He articulated this act of insanity better than any words could offer, so sensible Christians and others please enjoy Revelations version 1.0 on Good Sense Friday…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh0ZB9OD_fg

The Japanese Way

Finally a politician with some balls to articulate the mood of the bailout fatigued taxpayer. Charles Grassley a Republican Senator from Iowa commenting on the latest AIG bonus revelation declared that the executives should employ the Japanese formula; bow, apologize then commit suicide.
Harsh language perhaps,but a growing thirst for action from the public shares these sentiments. Since then he has retracted the suicide part. The fact that the taxpayer owns eighty percent of AIG and is basically furnishing certain employees with payouts leaves one with the desire to take up arms, in this case a Samurai sword.

It is also unnerving to know that in the final Bush days; then Treasury Secretary hooligan Hank Paulson negotiated the bailout of AIG so that his old company Goldman Sachs could receive a $12.6 billion owed, while his old competitors Lehman Bros and Merrill Lynch perished or got swallowed. I have to say that I love the argument put forward by corporate leaders that “If we don’t pay compensation then you run the risk of losing your best people. Well if every bank is insolvent or receiving bailout money where the hell would these clever buggers find a job?

It must be said that Scum Airways since its inception has been awfully busy, after picking members of AIG, it plotted a course for the grandfather of the GOP, Dick Cheney the Josef Fritzl of Neo Cons. This putrid sack of vermin has the gall to deny any culpability for the economic woes now underway and further states that the nation is at more risk from an attack than ever before. Exercising as usual the fear mantra that worked so well under his watch, he brilliantly neglects the fact that in large part the financial deregulation under the Bush administration has put more fear into the hearts and minds of the American people than a bunch of orange jump suited radicals. Serve your country Dick, fall on your sword it’s the only way for America’s Most Wanted.

As the Empire State building comes into view, Scum Airways finds its way uptown at the charming residence of the Madoff’s. There inside Ruthless Ruth fusses over the silverware and ponders over how to spend Bernie’s money, completely delusional how one man alone can produce account statements for all the thousands of investors…Hmm perhaps a turn around and head for the SEC downtown and pick up the criminals who knew along what Madoff was up too, but the gravy tasted way too good to intervene.
Then let’s fly over the CNBC studios and tune in to that clown Jim Cramer who constant cheerleading for various companies left investor’s thinking they were on ‘The Price Is Right’

And while there’s gas in the tank, why not fly down to West Palm Beach and land on some ghastly golf course and pick up the GOP’s real leader Rush Limbaugh. Now this carbuncle on the face reason likes to make you think that he’s the voice of the Party, but in fact this cigar chomping, buffoon gangster couldn’t care less about anything other than ratings for his talk show. The real crime here is that millions tune in and believe him.

But it is ok folks we have enough Samurai swords on board.