Kings & Queens Of America

Many a peculiar thing has happened to America after finding it’s independence from Great Britain or perhaps nowadays not bad Britain or so so Britain, one being; the crowning of music ions into Kings and Queens, albeit quite some years later.

Although the passage to the new world was rough and rougher still once settled, it didn’t half produce some incredible music. By the fifties and onto present day America the Republic has apparently shed its distaste for the monarchy and embraced the regal posture of the throne.

It would be hokum to see a peanut butter and jelly sandwich swap for a cucumber sandwich as in the case of the King of Rock n Roll Elvis Presley; Or to see James Brown the King of Funk opening the Houses of Parliament. Perhaps Johnny Cash the King of Country inspecting the Trooping of the Colour would be less strange. And of course most odd to see Eminem the King of Rap to deliver the Christmas day address to the nation, as for the King of Hip Hop Jay Z to present the winning trophy at Ascot.

Horrors of horrors to have the Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin trade in ‘Freeway of Love’ for a stately minuet and Marvin Gaye the King of Soul open for the Buckingham Palace tea party with “What’s going on?”

Fancy hearing Prince Charles mumbling the Blues in front of the King of the Blues Muddy Waters and then clap out of time to the King of Folk Woody Guthrie singing “This land is our land” Prince Phillip would look equally out of sorts tooting his horn along side the King of Jazz John Coltrane.

Madonna the Queen of Pop has already claimed the throne due to the death of Lady Diana her words not mine!

And finally the man who wears gilded epaulets better than any official royal; the King of Pop Michael Jackson who wouldn’t be out place waving his white glove from the balcony of Windsor castle. All this adoption of the realm leaves me with the distinct impression that taxes haven’t been paid?

Midterm Scare

Which is more frightening Halloween or the mid term elections? Answer below.

America claims it’s the greatest democracy in the world. Hmmm…Well let’s see; it is a democracy and at times displays greatness that much is true.

But this greatness also stands shoulder to shoulder with scariness; perhaps the greatest scariness democracy in the world would be more fitting. With all its ballyhoo and pomp it is easy too want to fly to the furthest corner of the globe to escape the stench such as Hillary Clinton is doing. Her two week trip to the Far East and further is an act of skillful diplomacy in its self. Or what about a one way ticket to Mars as NASA is proposing. Or do a runner like Dennis Quaid and seek asylum in Canada.

Either way the midterms have become a cattle call for all the extremists, be it in the media, business, politics and entertainment world to behave in a fearsome manner. What happened to all that Hope? Generally countries outside the US (and sometimes habitants inside) have no real interest in the mid terms but because of the historic win two years ago with so much optimism non Americans are perplexed as such a change of heart. A quick fix was never in the mix, how could it be? This story has many chapters long and deep and affects the world at large.

While it is important to vote, it isn’t half a slog these days to walk through the minefield of crap and come to the conclusion that there is very little direction home. Clearly the country is angry and there’s a lot to be angry about but this discontent is not helped by the choice of candidates.

All indicators point to a overhauling of Congress and a middle finger squarely placed before Obama’s face. But political schizophrenia has set in. On one hand you have bile surfacing from the Tea Party brigade and on the other, the ‘Hands thrown up in the air’ despair mob.

This schism invites each to conclude that the country is ungovernable. We have candidates who don’t know the constitution, others who are homophobic, racist, fraudsters, bigots, mentally unstable and actors pretending to be retired postal workers (Samuel Jackson) I guess this is to be expected in the greatest democracy in the world where everyone is accounted for.
But wait, so much money spent but so many voting machines broken… there’s a metaphor in there somewhere I think.

So which is more frightening? The Midterms, winners receive a clove of garlic. All the houses on Elm Street are foreclosed and Freddy is out of work; and what could be more haunting than a bunch of pretenders trick or treating at your door step this weekend.

Miners, Mistresses, Wives and Videotape

In a world full of murder madness and malcontent, it is refreshing to witness an event such as the mining rescue in a Chilean desert. This wonderful unfolding story had all the hallmarks of the human condition. If this is news to you, then clearly you have been living under a rock or a pile of rocks just as the thirty three miners trapped half a mile below surface for seventy days.

The remarkable scenes of miners surfacing, one by one from the great abyss was a testament to the courage fortitude and incredible teamwork of a great many people.

Paramount to a successful conclusion, this Rock Star rescue warranted Chile’s day in the sun equitable to winning the World Cup and having the Vatican reside in Santiago. Interestingly with all our technical advancements it was the image of the winch and the wheel which brought the miners fresh rays of light. This bastion of medieval technology still serves us well in the modern age.

However the drama revealing it self top soil was far noisier than the relative quiet of the quarantined thirty three bottom soil. Seventy days underground can expose the most vital of emotions; Love… or Lust or Lies, heavens I have forgotten which. So when certain miners were being claimed by wives and mistresses one may think for a brief second, jeeper’s life down here isn’t so bad. Naturally I jest but from now on there will be a whole load of claiming. Scenes from above make the Jerry Springer show look docile, Red Cross workers have been adopting combat posture to diffuse outbreaks of documented and undocumented women.

I am sure Apple is working on an App for miners with mistresses in a half a mile radius.

The claiming will continue in the form of government compensation, TV and book offers and holidays in the sun. The psychologists employed are going to have a field day in calming the emotional upheaval while government officials’ a legal nightmare in who is entitled to what.

Ironically, may the recovery begin; in isolation away from the rolling videotape and the winding winch.

Holy Quarreling Quarans !!

Tis the season for burning, What nothing good on TV ?

Hmm…let’s see internet porn not holding your attention?

Now that the silly season is in full swing where have the grownups gone?

We would like to think just right about now the elders of good reason are going to step in and say Ok kids break’s over.

We hoped that was case with the financial meltdown two years ago.

We hoped that would be case on Capitol Hill.

We hoped that was case with Katrina, the BP oil spill and on and on.

Apparently there are no grownups in the world. Sorry kids don’t waste your time filling out student loan forms just stay were you are on Twitter, Facebook, Ping and Foursquare. Adulthood has been cancelled.

Islam is under fire, pun very much intended. Moving from the Mosque madness in Manhattan we have now landed in Gainesville Florida to a tiny congregation aptly called Dove World Outreach Center (hard to make this stuff up…really)

Here resides a Terry Jones (No not Tom Jones, keep focused) he is the pastor who wants on Saturday the eleventh of September 2010 to burn the BeJesus out of Korans.

He is unhappy with the proposed building of the mosque in nearby Ground Zero. Citing that Islam is the devil, he has arrived at the conclusion that having a bonfire of the vanities would be a fine way to wipe away all sin of the Muslim kind.

With a history of biblical stunts this would appear to be his crowning halo moment.

Naturally this has set off a firestorm of its own in the Muslim world. Various leaders of the world have been queuing up for pyrotechnics primetime speaking out against the wisdom of such an event with marginal results.

While not a fan of religion, I support the right for peoples from all corners of the earth to practice Bronze Age mythology without fear of persecution and intolerance.

But the sandpit of craziness can’t go undocumented;

I imagine freshly minted copies of the Koran by way of Amazon landing on Mr. Jones door only to find they are copies of the new memoir by Tony Blair.

Next would be trainee evangelicals scourging the Gainesville public library looking for dusty Korans.

Donald Trump has intervened wanting to buy the mosque building for an apprentice price and no doubt will put up his second Taj Mahal, but wait isn’t that Hindu or Persian… Ah the confusion!

Even Sarah Palin has chimed in, it hard to fathom her knowing what the Koran is; probly thinks we are talking about Korea.

Meanwhile such hilarity is squashed by the fact that people do lose lives over these acts of lunacy. Our impotent leaders tried to calm the waters but come out with idiotic comments such as ‘Our soldiers will be put harms way ‘Harms way! We are at bloody war, what do you think happens in war time?

But on the matter of burning things; it puzzles me that such a big and brave religion as Islam (and other rock star religions for that matter) should be so concerned with bunch of clowns setting fire to an embalmed parchment of ink. Is religion and Islam so brittle that it can’t stand up to the flames of libricide?

Shackled Minds

There is a helluva din down at Ground Zero these days and it's not just the sounds of cranes and hardhats blowing in the wind.The reason for this hot air is a proposed building of a Islamic Mosque two blocks away.

Because of the location this has become a contentious issue and thus invited all manner of people to chime in. It would appear everything is as stake; The World's Religions, the Presidency, and members of Congress, the US Constitution and of course the People.

But if you declare on a continual bases that America is the worlds greatest democracy and land of the free then expect division.

Under the Constitution it clearly states separation of Church and State.So here we are favoring some religions over another. Ahem...not terribly tolerant Sam ?

Isn't tolerance the goal here ?

Isn't the roll of good governance to allow ideas of all persuasions to prevail ?

Indeed one can criticize debate and hold accountable of actions unlawful, but to prohibit a particular belief system reeks of hypocrisy.

If this is the message, then what the hell have we been doing in Iraq and Afghanistan ?

Has all the blood and treasure spilt and spent been all in vain ?

In Saudi Arabia, Iran and North Korea to name a few, such ideas are squashed with scolding venom. While it is likely to build a Church,Temple or Synagogue in those places as it is the Pope allowing women priests, isn't it here, one can lead by example, and show those of shackled minds how to grow.

I am sure on 911 some Muslims also perished. We all lost something that day.

Perhaps here is an opportunity to finally show some leadership.

Ah... The Friendly Skies

Steven Slater is a hero to some, I prefer a comedian. There is a bit of him in all of us. In a final exit and subsequent return to substance abuse, he has managed to channel our most fanciful scenarios into a slide to freedom and guaranteed unemployment.
If the flying departure of a Jet Blue flight attendant has escaped your notice,then either you haven't paid the phone bill or you are off the grid.

In summary: A heroic or horny (eventually arrested at his house by police during fornication) extremely fed up Jet Blue employee has pulled the toilet chain on his career in dramatic fashion.

Events dictate that he was being subjected to passenger abuse,which included a foul mouth and physical exchange that resulted in declaring over the public address system his displeasure with the offender, life and twenty years of service.

It was then (the plane had landed...phew) that he deployed the emergency chute,procured some beer (recovering alcoholic !!) and with the joy of a four year old at Six Flags slid his way to an early evening romp with his presumed puzzled lover.

As of yet there appears to be no record on YouTube of this bizarre event.However the story has caught flight across the Internet culminating in a wave of sympathy and support.

Indeed flying today is a tedious and a frustrating affair and I am sure at many a moment one has empathized with the job of the flight attendant.
However taking the short way home as Mr. Slater did at thirty five thousand feet would be most unwelcome.Luckily that wasn't the case.

Most wish at sometime or another, they had the fortitude to do likewise when ones job becomes unbearable.
We all live through Mr. Slater everyday, but fail to act upon those impulses for the obvious reasons.
Perhaps there is a sliver lining in the clouds to this story.

A few days prior captured on YouTube, passengers on a Lufthansa flight from Germany to Israel were witness to a pillow flight among the cabin crew much to their enjoyment.

It is nice to see that flying can be fun and the bile of air rage can be smothered from time to time.
Mr. Slater your new job awaits you in friendlier skies.


http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/295874

Invisible Mud

It would be rather remiss of me not to indulge you to my whereabouts these past months.

Just barging back into your lives with insightful pieces of prose without explanation was woefully impolite.

You see readers there's reason for it 'Sweden'

Yes thank heavens for the Swedes;for in their infinite wisdom they crowned me with the Nobel Prize for Literature (yes standards have dropped)

Along with a great deal of respect the NP (as past recipients like to refer) furnishes one with a Saab size wad of cash.It couldn't have come at a more appropriate time considering the downturn in well... everything!

Now here was an opportunity to give back to Sweden. I employed the creative services of Tham and Videgard Hansson Artitekts to build myself a new house, something mod,but discreet to keep the autograph seekers at branch length.

So with all the reliance and durability of a Volvo they came up with the Invisible Tree House.

While this resurrection was taking place, I was to be found hopping from bed to bed at IKEA in Elizabeth, New Jersey. There was no time write, just luxuriate with a copy of 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"among the faux pine and gleeful renters of furniture.

So here I am, back amongst the foliage of Central Park keeping an eye on the manifestations of Manhattan down below.

Due to my new found fame,soon to be Ex Mrs, Tiger Woods has delightfully made her services available for three days a week to house clean,which really brings a wholly new meaning to ABBA's "The Winner Takes It All"