Monday, June 24, 2013

Berlusconi The Bungler


The Top Ten benefits for Bunga Berlusconi being in jail.

1. Will get all the sex he wants, although not kind he was anticipating.

2. Paying off gangsters directly.

3. Still sponsoring Bunga Bunga parties, however but not with sea view.

4. Ceased monopoly of spray on tan in a can.

5. Age appropriate jail – no underage sex.

6. Putin’s mouth piece in Europe gagged.

7. Hair Club for Men subscription denied.

8. Hair piece donated to Burt Reynolds.

9. Teenage girls saved from the clutches of a septuagenarian.

10. AC Milan chances of winning anything greatly increased.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Buddhist Bling



Recent critics of Thai monks living large by way of private jet has caused outcry from Buddhists nationwide. 

Ah maybe we are being a little harsh on them here Monks, let’s face it, all that praying, orange bed sheets attire and ghastly Birkenstocks has to be a bit boring after a while. 

Perhaps the praying was for some material goodies and in preparation for the next life as a Russian billionaire oligarch - one step closer to Nirvana or jail.

I don’t resent the fact that they want Buddhist Bling,but  Buddhist Bachelorette  Nooooooooo.....!!

My dream last night contained horrors never seen before. 
I saw twenty five Bachelor Buddha’s swaging down the tarmac greeting Debbie from Dallas with a bloody rose.This had me reaching for my Kung Fu stars.

I can’t remember the last time I wanted to swallow razor blades, but with recent episodes of the aforementioned it warrants a Fifth Noble Truth.

The truth of dukkha means suffering, anxiety, dissatisfaction; well clearly these monks are well prepped for this show. 
They have had years of training for this day and maybe, and only maybe with guile and perception might brighten up the script to a meaningful level. Holy Crap! Who am I kidding? 

In the Buddhist belief there are Three marks of Existence; Impermanence, suffering, and not-self. 
I would hazard a guess that all three lend a remarkable likeness to the Bachelorette.

Impermanence is something one can wish for,but at a brisker pace.

Suffering; well that’s obvious. 

...and Not Self; clearly an absence from reason has manifested. 

All these Celestial planes, pun intended should provide the Awaking we are all seeking to rid ourselves from crass Network programming.

To my cosmic joy, my dream concluded with a show stopper; Debbie from Dallas was denied eternal bliss and left with a wilting rose in hand, crying in the arms of her production team. The monks retreated in their Ray Bans to the friendly skies, heading for a higher attitude.